Paisley Teardrops

Monster

2011-02-16T15:32:00.000-05:00

I feel very ill-equipped to deal with my Future. It is a beast of unknown strength, terrifying appetites and massive girth, which completely blocks any light that may be shining at the end of "the tunnel". I can hardly keep my sword in my hand, but I certainly don't have the power to lift it and fight. I don't even know if the Future is an enemy, but so far it doesn't look like a friend.

plainbellied BAKES!

2011-02-10T13:23:00.000-05:00

I'd like to introduce you to a new segment on this blog called "plainbellied BAKES!" Last week I made homemade cream puffs, reduced fat vanilla pastry cream and reduced fat cocoa pastry cream. It was all delicious! This week, I'm starting in on cakes.

Have you ever seen that movie "Matilda" with Danny Devito? There's this part where Bruce Bogtrotter is caught for taking some of the principal's cake and is forced to eat the rest of it. I have no ambition to eat 50 lbs of cake in one sitting, but I have had the image of that cake in my mind for probably 15 years and haven't found it yet. I want that cake! I'm starting with tooling around with chocolate cake recipes, but I think ultimately it's going to take a good, spongey chocolate cake, pierced and drizzled with a runny chocolate ganache that can soak in to the cake, plus a thicker ganache between layers and a fudgey chocolate frosting. I think that's a goal worth pursuing.

I think the cake I came up with might fit the bill, but it was a little, tiny bit over baked this time around. Just a tad on the dry side. That's okay. It will still work for testing out the fillings, etc.

Here is the cake I made:

I just have to point out that my cake baked perfectly level. I haven't trimmed the top or anything. But all the chocolatey experiments are for another week, so that cake is safely frozen for now. This week I'm actually getting ready for Valentine's Day. I've spent far too long planning the menu: sparkling juice with heart ice, mini meat balls with ketchup hearts, homemade baked mac 'n cheese baked in a shallow pan so I can cut it out with heart cookie cutters, carrots with ranch and lemon pepper broccoli (the veggies were Her Nibs' choice), plus a chocolate cake with a vanilla buttercream meringue frosting. The cake was actually the first thing I decided on because I wanted to learn to make that frosting. I scoured the web and read at least a hundred reviews of various recipes and came up with one I wanted to try. (It's a crazy process. It takes about two hours. I even *had* to buy a candy thermometer.) I knew that my small family couldn't handle a full cake (at least, not in a healthy way), so I also made a small cake in my Pyrex 4 cup measure. Here it is:

By the way, that butter in the background is all for the frosting. So I made a mini cake, used a ruler and toothpicks to mark 3 even-ish layers, sliced it and did my first 'crumb coat' ever! That's the initial thin layer of butter cream to catch all the crumbs to make sure they don't mess up the final layer of icing, but you probably knew that already. Now all my cake is frozen, so it will be ready to frost and decorate for Valentines.

For decorations, I'm leaning towards roses made from fruit roll ups. This cake is more about recipe experimentation than decoration, though. But I warn you, cake is on my mind! I can't stop thinking about how I would turn each of my sculptures and collages into a cake. I even neglected my daily TV watching to read cake books. If I'm as consistent with this as I was with my long-forgotten 'Art Pacts', or my political punditry, or even my recent foray into Paintbrush, you have nothing to worry about. Then again, who knows? Maybe the whole blog will become "plainbellied BAKES!"

I'm a VIP CUSTOMER!

2010-12-17T17:58:00.001-05:00

I just shopped at Zappos.com for the first time ever. It has great search options and videos of lots of products so I can see what they look like on someone. It was (high-pitched sing-songing required in reading the following word) AAAWWWe-SSOOOMme! These are the boots I got (I pulled up my pants so you could see them):

Only trouble was that I got a half-size too big (based on reviewers recommendations, but it didn't work out for me). I immediately set about returning them only to discover the sale had ended and they had gone up in price. Super Sad!

So I called their customer loyalty team. (Did you know they are the number one employer of muppets in the world? ) I laid out the whole tragic situation. They said "No prob, groovy girl. We're sending your boots to you now with free next day shipping and we're making you a VIP customer so you'll always get free next day shipping."

HURRAY! I even double checked with one of their online live now chat muppets and she confirmed it too and told me how to get to the VIP website. I feel so awesome.

Answer: I don't!

2010-12-01T08:38:00.000-05:00

Like many working mothers, I often hear the comment "I don't know how you do it all." Most of you probably are 'doing it all' with, I assume, the aid of a magic wand.

I am not.

And I'm not at all certain what constitutes the 'all' in question. I think it probably means something like this:

I hypothesize that other women are picturing all the things they do (cleaning their house, feeding their families, exercising) and imagine doing all that plus the couple of things they know I'm doing. That is their fatal flaw: they mentally add those together. They are being far too generous with this assumption. I am almost never doing those other things! What I'm really doing looks much more like this:

Why is this always me?

2010-11-30T11:03:00.000-05:00

I don't need permission!

2010-11-29T14:27:00.000-05:00

I have been completely inspired by this amazing blog Turtar discovered for us. Just make sure you go to the bathroom before you start reading it, and set your drinks down. There. You've been warned: It's high-larry-us. I've done my best to keep you dry while you start reading. Now I feel I can safely give you the link: Hyperbole and a Half. I highly recommend the posts marked "best of" on the side bar.

So after reading loads of her (the author's name is Allie) posts, I was feeling a little resentful of my Mac, which is really not like me. I'm honestly more likely to preach the benefits of Apple computers than to share my own religion. But I was missing something and I hadn't even realized how much I was missing it: Microsoft Paint. *sigh* Yes, I know it's a rudimentary and limited program, but I was pining.

So then I conducted some very in depth research on the matter. (Googling counts as 'in depth research' for the purposes of this blog post.) And I found (dah tah da DAAAHHAAHH!): Paintbrush!

Pros:

It's free.
It's "the closest thing to MS Paint for Macs". (It told me so.)

Cons:

I usually check with Turtar before downloading stuff. You know, just in case.
I want it now!

Pros:

I know the Admin password and it's my computer after all. Mostly.

Me (to self while triumphantly clicking download button): "I don't need permission! I want to 'paint'. I will paint!"

And now that I have, I've learned something: Paintbrush has very high-tech time-travel capabilities. Somehow, The Boy's entire nap time has elapsed and it's time to pick up Her Nibs from school. It's like magic!

Pesty Control

2010-10-27T20:56:00.000-04:00

I have a love-hate relationship with my pest control company. I love that they come and spray my apartment building and inside my apartment once a month. I love that this service is included in my rent. I like the friendly, older gentleman who usually comes. My feelings for his female counterpart are not so generous.

A couple of months ago, I was having ant problems. I mentioned them to my apartment manager, and she said she would pass the specifics on to the pest control people who were coming a couple of days later. When I got home on that day, there was a card from the pest control company, with a note on the back. I didn't save it, but it was something like: "Don't leave food out or you will get roaches."

It's true. We had chicken for dinner the night before and I had not cleared the bones from the table. I fed The Boy bread that morning, and there were some pieces on the counter still. But we did not have roaches. We had ants. And they were not on the food. They were not on the table. They were not on the counter. They were on the window sill. They were under the window sill. They were coming out of the electrical socket below the window.

I called the manager to see if the pest control had treated my ant area and she said she'd forgotten to mention it. Luckily, I guess, they were still at the complex and came back to treat it. The woman arrived and said "Oh, yes. You're the one who left the food out." I'm not even exaggerating. I was pretty brusk (for me anyway) in return: "Yes and you're the one who left the note." She didn't back down. "Yes. Yes I am."

Now every time pest control day comes I get angry all over again (like today). I feel defensive. I debate what approach I'll take if the woman comes to criticize me again. I stress about having the house presentable, or some semblance thereof. We did get rid of the ants in the dining room after a couple of treatments. Then they showed up in the kids room. Again, not on food. Finally, we got rid of them completely. We still don't have a roach problem.

I'm up too late

2010-10-22T03:45:00.000-04:00

I can't sleep. My shoulder hurts and it won't stop. Don't tell my doctor, but I even doubled my pain medicine and it didn't make a dent. So I watched a movie on Netflix on my husband's iPod, hoping that I would fall asleep watching it and enjoy the rest of the nightin bed. Didn't work. I did finish the movie, though. "When In Rome" was much cuter than I expected.

So here are random things I've been thinking about lately. I don't know if it will help me get to sleep to lay them out, but I'm willing to try.

I tried to give Stephen Colbert a piece of my mind, but couldn't find a way to contact him on his vast website. He used "begs the question" the wrong way on a recent broadcast. (See this post if you don't know what I'm talking about.) The elementary school where he attended has a good reputation, or at least it did. I think he may have sullied the good name of Stiles Pointe Elementary. Thank goodness Her Nibs doesn't attend there, that's all I can say!
I really hope I can get the kids into a great school next year. Wherever we'll be, we'll be moving in after all the application and transfer deadlines and will just be starting on even understanding what's available and what we want for schools. Her Nibs will be in 2nd grade and The Boy is suppose to start attending after his 3rd birthday to receive therapy there instead of at home. I would love a school of the arts that did some bilingual (Spanish) stuff. The Boy loves music, and the only thing Her Nibs likes better than TV is art. That's a pretty big deal for a 1st grader... in our house anyway. She's been drawing since she was born, and she's pretty dang good, though I say it myself.
I often think that there is no "after this" in our life. I find it highly possible that we will never get past these difficult "starting"-out years. I am supremely confident in Turtar's talent and credentials, but don't know if that will convert into an actual job with a reasonable income.
I have blue-collar pride. I'm proud to work hard for my family. I've worked hard all my life, and many of my jobs were not behind a desk. I've worked some desk jobs, yes, but I've also done custodial, food service (serving and hosting), factory job, nanny, furniture refinishing, newspaper delivery, and now baking. It's a stressful job, but I like that it is physical. I like that I have a hands-on, tangible product to be proud of every night, even if it also invites constant critique and stress every night. It takes a lot of sacrifice from everyone in my family, but I'm proud of how hard our family works together.
The thing I look forward to most about moving is actual being released from my calling. That's silly, but I do. I love serving in the Primary (I'm the 2nd counselor), but our ward doesn't have an activities committee. Since I'm in charge of activities for the primary, and the primary is in charge of the ward Halloween Party, I'm in charge of the ward Halloween party. It has gone great, and I think it will be great again this year, but I'm glad/hopeful that I won't have to do it again. I guess it's a good thing to know about myself: I wouldn't enjoy being an even planner, though they do get much bigger budgets to work with, which has to ease some of the stress. I shouldn't be so giddy about it. Maybe everything will fall apart and we won't move, or maybe I'll get a calling for which I feel even more poorly suited when we do move. Who knows? It's just a tiny, little dream of mine.
I'm bad at telling stories. We went out to dinner with friends recently, and I learned just how bad I am at recounting things. I was trying to tell them about something completely hilarious that had made me cry and made my stomach muscles sore, and none of that came across at all. I gave far too much detail and, in hindsight, probably shouldn't have told even an abbreviated version. Note to self: Don't talk about self. You're not that interesting! (and you are not a captive of this blog they way our friends were captive at dinner. so blogging isn't the same thing. Don't judge me!)
I watched this new documentary on HBO called Monica and David, about the first year of marriage for a couple who both have Down syndrome. I find myself increasingly drawn to things about adults with Down syndrome. While they grew up with fewer opportunities, for the most part, than The Boy (in terms of early intervention and acceptance), I want to see what their lives are like, what jobs and interests and abilities they have. I probably worry a lot more about The Boy's future than Her Nibs. Is it a bad idea to have a savings account in his name? Will Her Nibs ever feel burdened by him, especially if Turtar and I aren't still around? How independent will he be? Should we get a home with a mother-in-law suite to be for him?
For Her Nibs, because of our current situation, I mostly wonder how she would think about learning a trade before going to college so that she had something that she could do to pay for college, or to provide for herself, especially if she finds herself in a situation like mine: as a mother who needs to work, but still be at home with her kids. I fantasize about getting her graphic design training (and web design) from a nearby junior college/community college while she is still in high school, or maybe get training as a dental hygienist (good pay, very flexible hours). Something! The only long periods of time I have gone without working are the year immediately following the birth of each of my children. The rest of the time I feel like I'm always scrounging around for work that would be flexible enough to meet my needs, even in college (studio art classes are 3 hours each--hard to build a work schedule around a couple of those).
The doctor actually wrote in The Boy's 2 year check-up notes that he has an infectious laugh. That makes it medical fact, right? Maybe we should take him to visit sad people in case he's contagious.

That may be everything. I hope so. Maybe if I empty my brain of these unproductive worries and trivial thoughts, my mind will focus in sharply on getting my house whipped back into shape tomorrow.

What's up with that?

2010-10-09T06:19:00.002-04:00

The Boy is obsessed with Her Nibs' underwear. Whenever I'm doing laundry, that's the thing he wants to take. Yesterday, he got his hands on her tankini and pulled the bottoms over his head.

My Life Would Be So Much Better With A Serger!

2010-08-27T09:42:00.001-04:00

I don't think I can count the number of hours I have spent clothes shopping for Her Nibs. This week, I even did an advance run at two stores and placed about two dozen items on hold so that I could bring her back later just to try everything on. (That comes to 6 hours for just this week!) We ended up buying one outfit, one skirt and two pairs of pajamas––but no dresses, which is why we were going shopping in the first place.

Her Nibs does not fit the typical body type for a 6 year old girl, being a little short in proportion to her weight. Anything at the right width is pretty much guaranteed to be too long, whether in the leg or the neckline. Every shirt seems to become a 'tunic'. I've decided the only answer is to start sewing her clothes.

Thankfully, that's an option she greets with enthusiasm! In her shoes, I probably would have balked for store-bought. I have a simple sewing machine that will get me started, but I want all of her clothes to help her look her best! Confidence is hard enough for any girl to hold onto without clothes getting us down. I know the things I make for her will look infinitely better if I had a serger!

Mother's Day

2010-05-06T20:41:00.001-04:00

I'm predicting an unusual Mother's Day this year. I'm not exactly enamored with the duties of housekeeping and mothering these days, probably because I'm working two jobs and I'm completely riddled by stress from our current financial state and uncertain future. My two jobs demand less of me mentally and emotionally, but drain me physically and sap my patience, leaving me snippy and short-tempered most of the time. My nerves are raw and Her Nibs and The Boy are more than mild irritants at times. But as everyone knows, we're not allowed to say we don't like being a mother. It's always suppose to be the most fulfilling, even blissful, part of our lives.

Naturally, to combat my struggle, I've turned to books. I've started reading this book called "The Mommy Myth", which has some interesting ideas, but is also very inflammatory. The authors suggest the idea of "intensive mothering" (constant vigilance, bend all of our lives and time to our children's needs, extravagant theme birthday parties and on and on) has been promoted by celeb-moms, tv shows, movies and the media at large to the great detriment of the women's movement and the sanity of women everywhere. According to them, the media has invented a conflict between stay at home moms and working mothers, whereas actual women don't divide themselves (since we often move in and out of these categories during different parts of our lives) or harbor resentment for women making different choices. The authors provide interesting perspectives on the evolution of our cultural concept of motherhood over the past 6 decades, but do not offer a good alternative for what motherhood should look like instead of the intensive mothering that has become 'common sense' in our time.

I believe in the value of family and the role women are called to perform. I believe in the Proclamation on the Family. I believe that motherhood is a divine duty. Sometimes there's an emphasis on the divine. Lately, there's been an emphasis on the duty. I hope that my children won't suffer because their care isn't my primary enjoyment. But even before all of this, even before I was working again, I've worried about how my children are affected by having me in particular as their mother. I hope that I'm not scarring them. I hope I'm preparing them to be emotionally healthy adults who communicate honestly and without any passive aggression. I hope they are secure in who they are and work towards their goals without fear. In fact, I even wrote them a little song. It's incomplete, but in honor of Mother's Day and all the women who sacrifice and persevere out of duty and joy, here it is:

Hush, little baby, don't say a word.

Mama's right here, gonna sing like a bird.

Don't always know what I'm suppose to do,

But I know, I'll always love you.

It just may well be I'm missing some tools,

My brain's misaligned or I've listened to fools,

Whatever my failings, I hope that you'll see

I've given my all to help you be who you'll be.

I'm doing my best to disinherit you from my troubles,

To fill your life with hope and fun and bubbles,

Encircle you with truth and power,

strength and confidence and shower

virtue on you every hour

Raise you to soar.

Hush, little baby, don't say a word.

Mama's right here, gonna sing like a bird.

Don't always know what I'm suppose to do,

But I know, I'll always love you.

Health Care is a Right

2010-04-23T18:28:00.000-04:00

I've been reading this book called "All Souls" about a family in the projects of Boston. They lived in several of the projects, but mostly Southie. At one point, the mother took her sick, 3 week old baby into the hospital. She didn't have any insurance, and medicaid hadn't been legislated yet. They told her they'd reached their quota of 'charity cases' for the day and wouldn't help her. Her baby died that night of pneumonia. The doctor that saw the baby after it passed away said that it should have been in the hospital.

And that's when I realized that I believe health care is a right, not just a privilege.

I like the idea of making health insurance mandatory, though it can't be the only solution applied. This idea is often compared to auto insurance, which is also mandatory. People only have to have auto insurance if they want to drive, so there is still a choice. It doesn't make any sense to allow people to opt out of health insurance because they cannot choose to not get sick or injured. Everybody will need a doctor at some point, and we need to have an organized plan for providing it.

I'm glad that the health-care bill passed. I look forward to adjustments and improvements to that legislation as time goes by. I'm glad that women won't be as discriminated against by the health insurance industry as a result of this bill. I felt like the whole country was being held hostage by the minority republican senate. They wouldn't even allow a vote on health care, even though the biggest facets of the bill were republican ideas from the '90s. I wish that the legislative branch had allowed the process to work normally (I continue to wish that as around 80 presidential nominees for administrative positions throughout government continue to be on hold because of these same republicans), but I'm glad that the democrats found a mechanism to push forward this important legislation.

Brain Dead Strikes Again

2010-02-07T18:31:00.000-05:00

One more reason I can't stand Sarah Palin.

Plainbellied's Top Baby Items

2010-02-01T16:00:00.000-05:00

Because so many of my friends and cousins are pregnant right now, and Don't Mess With Texas is pregnant with her first, I decided to compile a list of my top favorite baby items. These have my highest recommendation. While I believe you don't need stuff to raise your baby right (my second is nearly 16 months and we've never owned a crib), I was sure glad I had these to make things a little bit nicer.

1. Balboa Nursing Cover (I've got the one called Suri)

This has a better fit than other nursing covers. I know, because I used to have a different kind. This one is broader, and has some actual planning involved in it's design. It isn't just a square with tie behind the neck. It conceals the baby better, allows me to see the baby better and has some darts in it to wrap around both me and the baby a bit.

2. Ergo Baby Carrier (I've got the black one with the camel hood)

This thing is awesome. It is so much more comfortable than a Baby Bjorn carrier. It is better for your shoulders and back because it puts the weight on your hips, just like one of those belts for heavy lifting. It is also better for baby because he or she won't be hanging by his or her crotch. It has a sort of fabric seat that is much better for his or her hip development and fertility.

3. Fleurville Diaper Bag (I like my print better than the ones they are selling now. You can see mine if you scroll down a little and check out number 2 of the 'additional images')

This bag has the works. First of all, it's highly practical. It has a clear plastic lining for the outside and metal feet, protecting the bag. It comes with a wipes container, bottle holder, and changing pad. It has tons of pockets. It can be a shoulder bag, a messenger bag, or attache to a stroller. It has a carabiner for keys, a zippered pocket for my wallet, and pockets for my phone and sun glasses. It has plenty of pockets on the inside, too, to keep the baby stuff sorted. I also love, love, love that the main body of the diaper bag can be zipped shut. I don't always use this feature, but after being targeted by thieves twice while carrying my baby and a bag when I was in Europe after Her Nibs was born, security is a big issue for me. And of course, this is adorable. I have had my bag for 3 or 4 years now and I still love it and use it. I splattered something on it which has slightly marred the clear cover, and one of the shoulder straps (I pretty much always use these) is starting to come out a little (an easy mend). I don't fault the manufacturer for those. I will say that the snaps that hold the side pockets closed have come out. I always put them back in, but I wish that was sturdier. Maybe it is in the ones being sold today.

5. Lansinoh Lanolin

This is essential if you are breast feeding, but even if you aren't, I use this stuff all the time. And I stopped nursing three months ago. Use this on chapped lips and cheeks, and any tough dry spots at all. Most recently, I've been putting it on The Boy's eyes. He's got mucus coming out. I don't want it to get crusty on his eyes and irritate the skin, so I cover his eyes with this stuff and his eyes are protected.

6. Boppy

This isn't a must have. I didn't have one in Spain with Her Nibs because it would have taken too much space. And I didn't use it every single time I nursed The Boy, but it certainly made it nicer. Using this, I wouldn't have to hold The Boy's weight while I was nursing because this supported him. I carried this to the bedroom at night (when The Boy was still waking up at night) and back to the living room again in the morning every day for a very, very long time.

7. Wooden Activity Arch

This is so versatile. The height of the bar adjusts so it can be used over baby when he or she is tiny, but it can also be used for tummy time by putting it in front of baby and hanging things down from it with links. And as baby grows, he or she can use it sitting up at various heights as he or she grows. And it's classic looking and made of wood. Very cool

9. Baby Bjorn Potty

The Boy is very advanced in this respect, at least by American standards. This little potty fits his tiny tush very well, and his feet can still reach the ground. It doesn't have lots of nooks and crannies that can be a problem when you're cleaning it. And it looks pretty cool. We got the white one. Much better than the thing with a drawer we had for Her Nibs.

Yeah, I got skills.

2009-12-20T07:56:00.000-05:00

"You sure are the best cook

in the whole planet of bread and butter."

---Her Nibs, upon eating a slice of store bought bread smeared with smart balance vegan 'butter'

Coming of Age

2009-12-10T12:32:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I discovered white hair on my head. I'm only 29. At first, I found short hairs and I was ready to blame The Boy, but I found more and more. Much longer than what has grown since The Boy was born, and probably longer even than what has grown since I found out about his T21 in the 5th month of my pregnancy. One in particular was coarse and frizzy. This depressed me on a day when I was already inexplicably low.

But I am pleased to be going white instead of grey. One way I found the hairs is the way they glimmered and caught the light like snow first thing on a bright, cloudless morning. I imagine my whole head draped in that shimmering veil one day and that pleases me. I had already given this some thought and I really hoped I would go white rather than grey. So there's that.

If Thy Right Eye Offend Thee

2009-12-07T11:11:00.003-05:00

[Excerpt from my scripture journal dated 12-2-09]

Matt 5:29-30

Am I "likening" this scripture in the right way? It's meant to refer to sins -- or at least that's how I've always seen it. But I've had this urge lately to clear things out of the way -- especially physical clutter, but also projects. I have too much stuff, as evidenced by the fact that I don't seem able to keep it all in order. But it's so easy to become attached to things and projects. If I have things and projects I love, but they're bringing me down -- or more bogging me down -- then I need to let them go.

Can I pluck out my right eye? Right now, I have many, many projects. I don't know which I'm willing to abandon. But I'm starting a graveyard shift job and something's gotta give. I've got to get my affairs in order.

What can I cut off and pluck out?

My week just went uphill from there. I decided to return borrowed reading materials and forget about couponing, at least for the time being. (Those things were just sitting there, anyway.) I wanted to liberate myself in every way possible. Just that decision was so freeing. A couple of days later, I found a local opportunity to sell the flower hair clips I had intended for Etsy. (After so much work, I couldn't finish up without selling them.) With that project wrapping up, and a new night job baking at Panera Bread, I decided to close my Etsy store. A couple of days later, Urban Tangerine sent me this article: Best New Year's Resolution? A 'Stop Doing' List. That only confirmed what I felt inspired to do last Wednesday. And, it helped me understand why some of my projects, which should have been fun and exciting, felt so much more like burdens and drudgery. Etsy is cool. I like making things. I think I'm pretty good at making things. But Etsy is not for me. It definitely wouldn't make the cut if I did the 20-10 assignment in the article. What would? Absolutely family, family, family. And then graphic design. And I would still want to run a marathon. I would want to make things for my family members and friends. I am most excited about making something when it is going to be a present. It's a way I can give of myself when I can't give financially. And in the 20-10 scenario, I would want to leave more behind than a hefty inheritance. But I would not, at all, want to produce lots of items, market them and ship them to buyers. So, farewell Etsy. I wish you well. It feels good to leave a project behind without feeling like a quitter. It feels great understanding what it is I want and don't want. And, something that is truly unusual for me, it feels beyond awesome [dare I say be-awesome?] to have genuine confidence in my own abilities and direction.

You guys gotta try this.

Introducing .... another blog!

2009-11-21T18:47:00.000-05:00

It's still a little rough around the edges, but I'd like to announce my new art blog: plainbellied productions. I'll highlight my designs, crafts, creative projects and esty items. I hope you'll bear with me as I learn how to make the blog beautiful, and I hope you'll stop by often. I've kicked things off with my latest poster design, but I've got a lot of backlogged projects to bring out in the open, including some creative DIY Christmas presents. Though if you're not really a Do-It-Yourselfer, consider buying handmade gifts from my etsy store. My non-slip, Amy-Butler-fabric flower hair clips are almost done!

This makes me furious.

2009-11-07T13:58:00.002-05:00

2009-10-25T16:27:00.002-04:00

I'm at that place where I want to get things done, but I only get gung-ho about a project long enough to fill up some corner, nook or cranny of my house with it while it waits, whiney and impatient, for me to come and complete it. I have aspiring fabric flower hair clips on the book shelf in the living room, would-be stuffed robot dolls (girly ones this time) in the corner of my dining room under a broken chair being held together with a scarf. Also under the chair are empty baby puff containers I plan to convert magically into the perfect christmas presents for the nieces and nephews on my list. Next to the chair are flattened cardboard boxes and brown paper bags. The boxes are destined to become frames for the children's art show next month, while the bags will be inverted (to hide the printing on them) and converted into gnarly, leafless trees to be used as table decorations at the Halloween party this weekend. Behind my living room chair are boxes and piles of supplies I use or may use for the weekly art class I teach kids at the local rec center. In the hall are the unsorted, too-small clothes that once belonged to The Boy, waiting to be properly stored, and a Costco-size package toilet paper wanting nothing more than to be put away. I really could keep on going, but if I don't finish this post now, it will probably find some new method of gathering virtual dust on my desktop.

It's not that I don't do anything but start projects. I did recently create a design for the Rainbow Fun Run for Her Nibs' school later this year. But I'm obsessive about graphic design. An intriguing design project always seems to usurp top spot on my priority list.

And I do other things, like read to my children. That brings a very different kind of satisfaction, and not one that cleans the crannies of my house. But I will commit now to finish something this week. I'm going to have to go with the paper bag trees, since that party is on Friday. And since that party is on Friday (and did I mention I'm in charge of the whole ward halloween party?) I'm not going to get too ambitious about any other projects just yet.

And now I've got some Molasses Cookies to make for FHE. That's productive and yummy!

The trouble with logic.

2009-10-14T12:42:00.000-04:00

Once upon a time in a land pretty far away, I was a college student double majoring in philosophy and ceramics. When my marital status was entering a period of flux, I gladly downgraded my degrees. Philosophy dropped to a minor and my BFA in Ceramics was expedited to a BA in Visual Arts.

Best thing that could ever, and has ever, happened in my life.

But, I had just enough logic to be irritated. I can't stand it when TV 'journalists' misuse the phrase "begging the question."

My handsome husband passed on a handy little article explaining both the proper and improper uses for this phrase. It's from a little while back, but I will rest easier knowing I've made a small attempt to educate the general population on logic terminology. Plus the easy cracks on the Bush administration are always good fun.

Enjoy!

You Must Read This Post

2009-10-13T09:28:00.002-04:00

And I don't mean this one that I'm writing right now ... unless you want to ... I mean this one:

Emily Orton: Motherhood -- What's in it for me?

(1 mom + 1 dad + 4 girls + 1 boy) x (4 homeschoolers + 1 toddler with Trisomy 21)

÷ (2 bedrooms + 1 bathroom) = Emily¹s life in New York City

Don't worry, I'll wait.

She's hit it right on the head, hasn't she? I never felt like my journals were private even when I was younger because I knew, someday, one of my children or grandchildren would be reading them. When I was a au pere in Belgium, my entire journal was written towards some unknown audience scouring my records for historical significance or insight into me as a person. I regret that part, but I do think that my children are making me more than I would ever be without them.

I know that I need to model the attitudes I want my children to have about themselves and others. Last year, I resolved to improve my self-esteem. I can proudly state that my self-critical remarks (mostly verbal, but non-verbal, too) have plummeted. I didn't expect to scratch that off my list after just one year, but I wouldn't have progressed this much if I weren't motivated to become the kind of mother I want my daughter to have. With my son, I am developing a new level of patience and acceptance. Not just for him, but for myself and my daughter.

Thank you, Mrs. Orton. You inspire me.

Plainbellied's just-right-for-mini-muffin-pies Box

2009-09-28T11:51:00.007-04:00

Ask and ye shall receive.

Click on the image for the full-size template before printing.
And only print page one.
I don't know why a blank, second page comes up when you try to print.

I just couldn't resist.

2009-09-27T03:05:00.004-04:00

Mini muffin-tin pies in mini scrap-book paper boxes. Just my little way of saying thanks to our Primary Board. I think it was worth it. The brothers and sisters who serve in Primary are definitely worth it. And these things are so dang adorable! And delicious. I may never go back to full-size pies. For directions on the pies, check here.

So many possible titles for this post...

2009-09-17T22:08:00.004-04:00

The Boy loved the vegetables from my lentil soup. However Turtar and I both neglected to put the soup in the fridge before retiring for the evening (which vaguely resembled falling asleep watching TV and falling asleep reading in bed), so down the disposal it went. But the next day I made more soup! Or at least I started to. I sauteed the onions, carrots and potatoes. I added the stock and brought it up boil. And then I created fire.

The soup was still fine. I moved it to the side and tried to smother the fire with another pan. No good. It didn't seal off the oxygen. I couldn't think any longer, so I grabbed the fire extinguisher (courtesy of our friendly apartment complex) and killed the fire. The fire was survived by copious amounts of a yellow powder, all over the kitchen. All over the new pot of soup. All over the toaster, which I then threw away. (I just don't trust my shaking abilities enough. I don't think I can shake the toaster well enough to clear out all the yellow, fire-killing powder. I don't know what the powder is, but I have no intention of eating it.)

What should I call this post? How can I capture this memory?

"It's Down to Cheerios": afterwards, I had no soup to feed The Boy, so I gave him Cheerios, even though they have wheat starch. I paid for it today, when he was gassy, constipated and irritable.

"A color I don't like.": The powder from the fire extinguisher was more yellow than dry milk, but not as yellow as cornmeal. It was anemic. Almost apologetic. Pitiful. It reminded me a little of the dijon mustard color that fills Seville. I was very bitter about leaving Madrid, and I hated that mustard color for a long time out of spite.

"No longer a fire extinguisher virgin." This one is too long. But it was my first time, and of all the people I've told, only one other person has used a fire extinguisher before. I thought it was going to be some kind of a white foam. I had no idea how pervasive the contents would be. In a couple of years, I think trace amounts of that powder will still be found in the carpet here, even if I'm no longer found in the apartment.

"Misadventures in cooking" You should have seen the potatoes. They were browned to perfection. And I don't think I mentioned it before, but the stock I added, the one I was bringing to a boil so I could add the lentils, it was duck stock, made by my husband himself. The loss of the stock is even greater than that of the perfectly sauteed vegetables, because we don't have any more duck or duck bones. I hate it when bad things happen to good food. This is another example of why Turtar is the cook in the family. I cook for us, but he does it better. And if we have company coming, he's definitely the one in the kitchen impressing everyone. Although I did make a mean rack of ribs not too long ago, using a dry rub Turtar assembled. I'm okay with his contribution. Nothing can diminish my achievement of not destroying perfectly good meat. Do you remember the time I burned and under-cooked the same London Broil for Turtar's birthday? Believe me, those ribs were an achievement.

"Why I ate microwave popcorn for dinner.": Turtar came home and I went off to teach art class. He was all geared up to clean up the mess and be my hero, but it just didn't turn out how either of us planned. Instead of going out to eat as a family, I sent him off for an evening alone. To clarify, this was intended as a gift, not a punishment. I figured I could come up with something for myself and the kids, and taking two small children to a restaurant close to bedtime wasn't going to relax him in anyway. I fed the kids, cleaned, ate what I could (still being mostly dairy and wheat-free), and cleaned some more. The next day I bought lots of fruit as a buffer between myself and the microwave popcorn in the future.

Obama's Back-to-School Speech

2009-09-10T12:00:00.003-04:00

The right-wing crazies have been up in arms recently, so I finally got around to listening to Obama's Back-to-School speech, which was broadcast to school children around the country two days ago. It's ridiculous to be afraid of the president of our country speaking to the children of our country about the value of education, but that's neither here nor there. Here's what I wanted to say:

I found President Obama's speech personally inspiring. I have always envied people I consider "doers". These people seem capable. They achieve their goals. They are not afraid of making goals. I have always felt like a second-class citizen by comparison. I heard the words "you can do anything" when I was growing up, but there were other forces in my home stronger than the words of my parents. The overwhelming, unspoken messages were "have you thought this through all the way?" "you should be prepared for this not to work out" "this seems much too complicated to go for" and "aim a little lower". I continue to fight these messages as an adult, but I still see myself through that lens, and everything I see tends to reinforce the messages of my childhood. Obama's speech helps me to believe a little more in myself and in a greater sense of community. He talked about a couple of people who had overcome unfavorable situations and still succeeded. He said we can't make excuses and give up on ourselves. I have to think of The Boy in that situation, and so many people with T21 that I have heard about in the past year. People with Down syndrome have a lot more to overcome than most, yet they go to college, learn languages, serve missions, contribute to the community, and enrich many personal lives. The Boy is a constant inspiration to me because he had to work so hard just to learn how to sit. He has to endure daily (when I'm being good) physical therapy to achieve basic life skills. I've always had to work hard at everything in my life. I don't believe I'm naturally gifted in any way, but I persevere. I relate to The Boy that way. He inspires me to take advantage of the abilities I've got so far and push them further. President Obama's speech does the same.

Her Nibs didn't hear the speech at school because her school decided the kindergartners were too small to sit and listen. It was less than 20 minutes, even with the introduction, so I'm not really sure what that was about, but she will be sitting down to watch it this afternoon. I want her to believe in herself, to believe she can achieve, and never to think of herself as anything less than a "doer".

Kindergarten Shout-Out

2009-08-19T13:27:00.005-04:00

I just want to send a shout out to Her Nibs, who just started Kindergarten. *sniff* She's ready for it. She's ready for just about anything, except maybe yogurt covered craisins.

Turtar had a whole heap of throat surgery on Tuesday (tonsils, uvula, septum stuff). After dropping him at home, we (The Boy, Her Nibs and yours truly) went to pick up his pain-killers. Naturally, the ENT office neglected to call in his prescriptions before they closed. The pharmacist was good enough to call the doctor and leave a message, but we still had to roam the aisles while we waited to hear back from the doctor and get the prescription filled. So in the snack section, I let her nibs choose a trail mix to add to her lunch the next day. I didn't let her choose one with candy coated chocolate pieces (aka M&Ms) because I know her too well. So she chose cranberry nut mix. After school, during her critique of the lunch I'd packed, she mentioned that the trail mix I put in was gross.

There is no trail mix in her lunch today.

i heart muffins.

2009-08-15T20:19:00.008-04:00

This is my first real experience with food allergies, and I'm not sure if food allergies are even the problem. We (The Boy and I) are trying to go dairy-free to see if it will take care of the terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad rash on his face. I thought I'd been dairy-free most of the week and discovered the bread I was eating as well as the frozen pot-pies actually had dairy in them, too. So there's a real learning curve. I love The Boy, though, and it is worth the effort to see if dairy is what ails him. Though I did resent him a little last night when I couldn't have milk with my wanna-be oreos--I'm so sorry! I was much nicer today. The most discouraging time of day is breakfast. But, I think I have an answer to that. Remember Six Week Refrigerator Bran Muffins? Well, thanks to Teri's Kitchen for the healthy version of this old favorite and to Go Dairy Free or a buttermilk substitute, I've discovered a breakfast/lunch/snack that should get me through the trial period, and even longer, if dairy is the problem. Here's the recipe I'm going to be trying very, very soon (and I promise to report back!):

Healthy, Dairy-free 6 Week Refrigerator Bran Muffins

4 cups buttermilk substitute:

1 cup silken Tofu

2 & 3/4 cups water

4 Tablespoons vinegar or lemon juice

1/2 teaspoon salt

COMBINE IN BLENDER AND LET SIT 10 MINUTES BEFORE USING

2 large eggs

7/8 cups applesauce

2 Tablespoons canola oil

1 teaspoon vanilla

1 package (15 ounces) bran flakes

3 cups sugar (or substitute Splenda)

3 cups all purpose flour

2 cups whole wheat flour

2 Tablespoons wheat germ

1 & 1/2 teaspoons kosher salt

3 teaspoons baking soda

1 & 1/2 teaspoons cinnamon

1/2 to 1 teaspoon nutmeg

1 cup raisins, chopped dates or dried cranberries (optional)

Pre-heat oven to 350 F. Combine buttermilk substitute, eggs, applesauce, canola oil and vanilla. Beat well. Add cereal and let it soak in the liquids until moistened. Meanwhile, mix everything but the fruit in a separate bowl. Add dry ingredients to the wet ingredients and stir until just moistened. Fold in fruit. Fill cupcake papers or well-greased muffin tins until almost full. Let stand 15 minutes. Bake for 20 minutes.

The batter is good in the fridge for 6 weeks, but it will probably be devoured before then. You can also fill the cupcake papers and then freeze the batter that way. Be sure to put the papers back in the muffin tin before baking them, though. And let me know if you try this!

Happy Birthday Me

2009-07-19T22:43:00.003-04:00

First birthday present (in advance): Turtar determined that the problem with my computer was a dead hard drive. (I love you anyway, iMac of 4 years! xoxo) He ordered a new and improved hard drive, disassembled my non-user serviceable computer, replaced the hard drive and reassembled it. Remember, the iMac is one of those computers where the whole CPU is built in behind the screen. More proof that my husband is a genius!

Second birthday present: *gasp* *swoon* two full bouquets of yellow spider flowers, orange gerber daisies, exquisite orange roses, baby's breath, another purple filler flower and another red flower that makes me think of tigers for some reason.

Pre-Birthday Menu: (ie, the day before my birthday)

Nachos made with lime flavored tortilla chips, Monterey Jack cheese, taco seasoned ground beef, more Monterey Jack cheese, (microwave to melt, then add) sour cream and Newman's Own Mango Salsa (which, by the way, is the best mango salsa ever. It isn't expensive like those in the refrigerated section billed as 'fresh'. It isn't mango & peach (don't water down my mango, punks!). And it isn't as spicy as the Costco stuff (and doesn't have to be purchased by the quart, or whatever huge amount Costco has available.))

Birthday Menu:

Spinach salad with sliced strawberries, candied pecans and a mango ginger vinaigrette

Pita sandwiches filled with sauteed onions and red peppers plus sliced brats off the grill

Grilled vegetable skewers with onions, orange peppers, zucchini, yellow squash, and cherry tomatoes

Mango passion fruit italian soda, and then raspberry Schwepps later

Chocolate butter cake with triple fudge chocolate frosting (including mini chocolate chips in the frosting) (very sweet, but hey! It's cake!)

And the only disappointment for the taste buds was the Publix Premium Mackinac Island Fudge Ice Cream. Don't buy that. It's gross. We may have to throw the rest of our carton out. I should have stuck to the tried and true mint chocolate chip. I may have to buy a replacement ice cream to perfect my birthday meal after the fact.

Oh, and the primary children sang to me. I told them I needed them to sing extra loud because I'm getting old and Her Nibs piped up, "You're not old, Mommy!" It was very sweet.

Sean Hannity is a Liar

2009-07-12T22:14:00.003-04:00

He makes it look so easy.

2009-07-10T22:00:00.002-04:00

I have bad news. It's about my dear iMac of 4 years. It was so sudden. Just two days ago, I was creating documents in Pages, updating Facebook, checking my email and syncing my iPod. Then it froze. I actually had to do a hard shut-off. Yes, on a Mac. That was upsetting, to say the least. But I never thought it was serious. Sadly, my darling iMac never woke up again.

Tragedy strikes when you least expect it, or maybe any trouble is more tragic when you're not prepared. Well, I didn't expect it. I mean, I don't think there were any warning signs. But, thanks to my diligent husband, we were prepared. Not 6 months ago and with the aid of our tax refund, Turtar set up both an extra, portable drive, and an external hard drive to back up everything on my computer. Thanks to the genius of Time Machine, I didn't even have to remember to run the back-ups. It ran automatically pretty much all the time. Where would I be without you, Turtar? You're my hero. You saved the day, er, the data, which is even better, or at least as good. You diverted the distress from this very grateful damsel. (I think that's earned you some extra kisses.)

What's the connection?

2009-07-07T00:44:00.002-04:00

buffalo wings and celery sticks

cross-country skiing and rifle shooting

Why? Why are these things connected? Who put these together? It doesn't even make sense!

Even more puzzling is the connection I've discovered between the state of my house and my personal body image. Seriously. My house is pretty good right now. But two weeks ago I was sure my children would be taken from me if anyone from any government agency could see in. And I felt awful. I felt uglier and fatter than I ever have in my life. I know I'm not alone in this. I brought it up at lunch with some of the girls and they said they feel the same way. I can't decide if that's reassuring or just sad.

Now, two weeks later with a presentable house and clean laundry, I feel amazing. It's astonishing. I feel like I lost 15 lbs and bought a sexy dress. Next time I'm feeling bad about my appearance, I'm going to clean out my fridge and mop the floor.

I miss Leno.

2009-07-07T00:11:00.004-04:00

Have the writers gone on strike again, or was Letterman always this bad?

Sarah Palin announced her resignation on Friday, just before the nation celebrated Independence Day. Is it exciting? You betcha! But all my favorite comedians were on holiday. Craig Ferguson, Letterman, Stephen Colbert and especially Jon Stewart. I'm having fun with the news coverage, but it's time to break out the real jokes.

Actually, Palin herself is really the joke, or more like the punch-line. She was great for a laugh during the campaign, but she just keeps getting nuttier and nuttier. She cracks me up. Sometimes when I listen to her comments or read something quoting her, I start to think that the sleep deprivation is getting to me because I just can't make sense of it. It is so reassuring to hear Liz Trotta (on Fox News, of all places) calling her 'inarticulate'. Or CBS News, who described Palin's resignation speech as 'rambling and sometimes confusing'. She really doesn't make any sense at all!

Sarah Palin said "I don't want any Alaskan dissuaded from entering politics after seeing this". Quite frankly, everything I've ever seen or heard of Sarah Palin has only served to bolster my own confidence in politics. I have no political ambition, but I couldn't be that bad at it. At least I can compose a coherent sentence.

Righteous indignation can be exhausting.

2009-06-18T23:18:00.005-04:00

I just watched this movie called Music Within. I got it because the preview made me laugh, and I was interested in the story. It's based on the life of Richard Pimentel and describes the evolution of the ADA, or American Disabilities Act. As a film, it wasn't great, which makes me sad. I really, really wanted to love it. I hated the girl, I loved the character Art (he had all the best lines), and I was nonplussed with the lead.

But I love a good fight against injustice, especially in real life. Richard Pimentel lost his hearing serving in Vietnam and came home, a decorated veteran, to discover he was living in a "disability apartheid". His best friend had cerebral palsy. When they went to a pancake house together, they were denied service, apparently because they were so revolting to the other customers. They refused to leave and were arrested for violating the so-called Ugly Law, a law prohibiting the disabled from being in public, essentially. I think they said something about it being instituted to prevent participants of traveling 'freak shows' from coming into the city. Just to be clear, people would pay to see the 'freaks' at a carnival, and then pay again (via their taxes to local law enforcement agents) to keep the 'freaks' out of sight.

Wow, right?

When I learn something new, the fact that I didn't know it is often more surprising than the fact itself. I know the world isn't fair now, and that it was less fair in the past. But I didn't know about this Ugly Law. And I sure didn't know that the ADA wasn't law until 1990. Sure, that's practically 20 years ago now, but I remember where I was in 1990. It makes me a little sick to think about how I was living my life in relative ease (a little passive-aggression is good for a growing child, right?) while people in wheel chairs only had access to a smattering of buildings. Yuck. That's just gross.

Of course, in the past year, disabilities issues have come to the forefront of my attention. Here's a couple of things I've learned:

The Boy's PT visited the orphanages in Russia. There are kids there that are left in a crib by themselves practically their whole lives. If they are lucky, an older child at the orphanage will kind of adopt them and look after them. Even a child with typical development would wither in that environment. For a child with developmental disabilities... I'm shaking now just writing about it.

And what really made my blood run cold was when I learned how people with Down syndrome have been used as suicide bombers. I won't expound on that here. Search on 'down syndrome suicide bomber' if you haven't heard about this. It's unthinkable.

Almost as revolting is the rate at which children with Down syndrome are aborted. I've probably mentioned it before, but 95% of babies diagnosed with Down syndrome prenatally are aborted in the US. It's higher other places. Why is it socially acceptable in our country, even encouraged by doctors in many cases, to kill a baby with an extra chromosome 21 while at the same time, we find it so offensive that babies in China are aborted for having two X chromosomes? I think they are both offensive. It is not okay to have an abortion because the baby is a girl. It is not okay to have an abortion because the baby has Trisomy 21. What it is is morally reprehensible.

I learned from Turtar that children with Down syndrome in Ireland were once thought to be fairy changelings. That may sound like a silly, superstition, but they killed their own children because of it.

And now perhaps you understand the title of this post. I'm going to bed. I'm exhausted.

This is just me, now,

2009-06-15T00:18:00.004-04:00

but I was blown away by the new Star Trek movie.

Turtar was not so thrilled, but I think it is the best action movie I've ever seen. I was figuratively biting my nails the whole time. I couldn't believe it when Spock ejected Kirk from the Enterprise. I was enthralled and entertained. I wish I had a reason to see it in the theater again.

I'll admit, I used to watch Star Trek with my dad when I was younger. It wasn't exactly interactive, but it was something we shared, I suppose. I got to stay up past bedtime to watch it, I guess because my mom didn't want to cut short my 'shared time with Daddy'. (I might have watched anything to stay up an extra hour for 'shared time'.) But that was Next Generation... Anyway, Turtar thinks this means I'm predisposed to like this movie, what with the Trekky jargon and sci-fi-ness. He may be right. Though, I didn't even see Nemesis and the only Star Trek movie I remember liking before this was First Contact. I'm also predisposed to like Chris Pine... Did you see him in Blind Dating? aDOORable. And eating three reese's cups during the previews probably didn't hurt my mood either.

Whatever my predisposition, I loved this movie. I loved it from the first moment. I loved it all the way through. I even loved it after Turtar confessed that he was bored by the end and started pointing out holes in the script. I didn't disagree with him, but I can't remember ever enjoying seeing a movie so much. I wished we'd seen it in a full theater of fans. *sigh*

We saw Hot Fuzz in a full theater with a very responsive audience and that was awesome (so was that movie... tightest script and editing of a film I've ever seen, at least for a non-art film). We saw X-Men 3 (which was dreadful) with his grad school pals and compared mutant ranking system in the movie to the class struggle in French Revolution afterwards, which was hilarious and awesome--definitely a singular experience. We saw The Dark Knight in I-Max and the flipping of the semi (the rest of that experience was more impressive to Turtar than me) was awesome. My point is, I've had lots of fun at the movies before, but this was something new, something out of the ordinary, for me at least. As Rhino (you know... from "Bolt"?!) would say, it was beyond awesome. It was BeAwesome!

I love this

2009-04-14T12:55:00.001-04:00

Really?!

2009-04-03T07:43:00.003-04:00

This week, The Boy and Her Nibs both had ear infections, and The Boy has a nasty cough, which led to some new accessories: a humidifier, and a nebulizer. Also, I've got bad allergies which seem to be transforming into an annoying cold. I'm gaining stress-weight at an alarming rate and can't get my house all clean at one time.

But for some reason, my number one priority is redecorating. I know. Really?! I am taking care of the kids, I do care that my upstairs bathroom's trash can is completely overwhelmed, and I know that Her Nibs needs help with her reading (she's having trouble with reading comprehension... can't remember a whole sentence immediately after reading it...), but I am completely caught up in beautifying my home, making it look 'put together', deliberate, coordinated and lovely. I think it's a good goal; it just surprises me that it doesn't feel like a back-burner undertaking. I've tried to be very anti-clutter, but I'm afraid the result has made for a rather sparse home environment...

*sigh*

Well, at least I'm making progress on it. With my new living room color scheme, I'm really kicking myself for getting the lame teal-green exercise ball instead of holding out for a chic silver one. But, the family silhouettes are done and framed. When Turtar gets back from his conference, they'll be hung and I'll post pictures of the fruits of my labor.

Just the kids

2009-03-06T23:45:00.006-05:00

If you're up before PBS Kids, you're up too early. But once you're up, or rather, once Her Nibs is up, there's no going back. Thankfully, Hulu is always on. Did you know they have He-Man? "By the Power of Grayskull!"

I don't like it when people operate under a false sense of urgency.

...like Her Nibs when she lost the orange crayon that came with her kids menu. Never mind that she had somehow acquired two 3-packs of crayons so she still had more than most. She couldn't eat without it. (She wasn't even coloring. She was just playing with the crayons. Just playing with 2 of the 6 crayons. But she needed the orange one.)

...or like me when Her Nibs is brushing her teeth, or using the bathroom, or getting dressed or doing just about anything... I always feel like she should be doing it faster.

I was hoping to do a product placement post for Breast Flow bottles. I heard that babies who only breast feed and refuse bottles totally dig this double-layer nipple. The Boy did take 2 ounces from it, but not a full meal. That's more than he'll take from a regular bottle, so I give it my It-will-buy-you-time-in-a-pinch (and possibly a brief date) Endorsement.

We started laying The Boy down for bed while he is still awake. He's such a pro. (With Her Nibs, we both cried it out... me and Her Nibs, not Turtar.) The Boy talked a bit, moved a bit, and finally dozed off. And he's starting to grow some hair! (not related, I know, but I'm just so proud!)

Her Nibs is acting overtly jealous of The Boy more and more often.

I try to emphasize that sometimes I take care of her, sometimes I take care of him, sometimes I take care of Daddy, and sometimes I even take care of me. I'll say "it will be your turn next" or "it's The Boy's turn right now." She said "Why are his turns always the longest?"
When we were having dinner, we set The Boy in his car seat on the floor in the corner of the room. Once, just once, Turtar looked at him and said something to him. Her Nibs said, "I guess you love him the best."
She's also regressing a little, like she wants to be waited on hand and foot the way The Boy is. She wants me to dress her, put on her socks and shoes, and sit with her in the bathroom (preferably reading to her), and even brush her teeth. This totally reminds me of the episode of 30 Rock where Liz Lemon gave both her star actors fake awards to appease their aching egos. If only Her Nibs could see that I am already waiting on her constantly! The upside is she's giving some of her choices back to me, so I can choose her outfit sometimes.
I was singing a simple lovey song to The Boy, so Her Nibs wanted me to write on for her, too. That's been pretty fun. I borrowed the tune from "Mister Sun"...
But my favorite was a few days ago when she came to me and said "Mom, I need your attention!" That day, we made nearly a dozen origami butterflies (partially in preparation for her butterfly birthday party coming up), played Groovy Girls and playdough, and something else, I think. I know I felt like I gave her lots of attention.

Holding Pattern

2009-02-23T01:33:00.004-05:00

I've been sick. Not horrible "Husband, I need you to stay home from work!" sick, but definitely not on top of the world. Kind of the side of the world actually. I was really dizzy last night.

So on Friday when I was sick and Her Nibs didn't have school, I put on jeans, but was still otherwise in my pajamas. Her Nibs stayed in pajamas, and frankly we don't change The Boy's clothes unless he's messed 'em up or had a bath. They might not have been pajamas, but I know he slept in them.

It was a movie day.

It was a reading day.

It was a holding day.

I don't think the TV was turned off all day, though Her Nibs was doing quite a bit of acrobatics on the exercise ball that has become a staple in our living room. Turtar sent me a random blog link which in 3 links connected me back to NieNie Dialogues. And that got me reading. First, I needed to catch up on her situation, so I read the articles on her recovery my sister sent me a few months ago. Then, I needed to catch up on her blog. I was inspired and encouraged. (I'm inspired by the joy she takes in life and her role as a wife and mother, and encouraged because I've been doing better that way myself, lately.) I cried. I missed my own sisters as I read about the service she has from her own. I added a NieNie button to my blog and then redecorated my blog to match my new button. And all the while I held The Boy. He doesn't sleep so well when I set him down. He only sleeps in his bed at night. Any other time I lay him down (even if he's sound asleep in my arms), he wakes up within 5 minutes. So I keep holding him... a small price to pay for the honor of being his mother.

Okay, I did set him down while I was redecorating my blog. But I paid for my squandered time. He woke up ready to eat and I still hadn't made the pizza dough for the pigs in blankets I promised Her Nibs for dinner, so I had to multi-task. I actually mixed up the pizza dough while nursing The Boy. (I closed the shades on the kitchen window first.)

Defeated

2009-02-19T09:16:00.004-05:00

For at least a week and a half I've been trying to get on top of the dishes and the laundry. I made some progress before being kicked to the curb, but last night I was vanquished. Somehow, they combined forces to undermine, intimidate, and ultimately overcome me.

Dishes and laundry, please consider this the waving of the white flag of surrender.

Tired Ramblings

2009-02-17T11:13:00.007-05:00

Here are some cute pictures of my kids. They are so precious. I'm such a lucky mom.

I'm reading a few books right now: Children Are From Heaven, with "How To Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk" waiting patiently to be read next. So far, I'm loving my new parenting skills. Taking care of a baby is close to intuitive. Past that stage, parenting is not a natural skill, so I'm so thrilled to learn all of these positive parenting skills, and to give up threats and punishments.

My new obsession in the kitchen is The Sneaky Chef. It broke my heart when one of those got recalled at the library. *sniff* But I still have one of them, and I think some of our tax refund may go to buying those books and a food processor. Basically, I'm lying through my teeth about what is in the food I'm preparing for my family now, but it's healthier than ever and that make me feel really, really good. (because it's all about me, of course.) The big hits with Her Nibs have been the Fortified French Toast (secretly packing carrots and yams), hamburgers (with spinach and blueberries), True Freedom Fries and the Not His Mother's Meatloaf (with white beans and oats--also with tomato paste and onions, which Her Nibs despises). The Breakfast cookies were a success, along with some of the homemade breakfast ice creams and popsicles. My personal favorites are the chocolatey stuff, which pack in blueberries and spinach. I want to get a mini bundt cake pan so I can make these amazing chocolate muffins and pretend they are donuts. Turtar loved the Cold Sesame Noodles (secretly with cauliflower and zucchini) and Triple Baked Potatoes. I'm the only one who would eat the peanut butter cookies. Her Nibs is suspicious of PB in that form, and Turtar didn't go for the semi-sweet chips I put on top. Oh well.

I really need to cut my hair. It's looking so depressed.

My husband rocks. He gave me an amazing massage last night after I rocked The Boy (formerly Lizard Loaf) for nearly 2 hours to get him to sleep. (oh--and that had to be standing up. My kids can be really picky that way.)

Her Nibs is a reading pro. We're on lesson 36 of "Teach Your Child To Read in 100 Easy Lessons". She loves writing and I hear her sounding words out all the time--trying to read things around her, but also to analyze the words she is using. "Umbrella... Uhhm Buh Rrrr Ll uh" (not one she actually said, just an example of the way she's breaking down her own words to understand them better) When we went shopping yesterday, she had her note book with her and wrote down the stuff we were buying by copying labels.

The Boy is just amazing. It surprises me how much he is the same as Her Nibs when she was a baby--refusing bottles (now that he's breast feeding), wanting to be held to go to sleep, being amazingly, stunningly beautiful (okay-that's no surprise).

Okay. That's it for now. I need to meet Her Nibs at school for Chapel time. She's at this Baptist preschool, so sometimes I like to see what they teach, religion-wise... and she likes it when I come. I've also been really fabulous at doing FHE since she started school here.

Shout Out

2009-02-04T12:49:00.000-05:00

Thanks to Simply Chic Blog Backgrounds for the sweet holiday background.

I'm online!

2009-02-04T09:12:00.002-05:00

Okay, yes, I already have a few email addresses and a blog, but now I'm starting my own Etsy shop, too. Etsy.com is like a great online craft fair, with hand-made goods of all varieties available all the time.

Please visit my shop, Plainbellied Productions, at plainbellied.etsy.com.

I'm kicking things off with a one of a kind Valentine decoration, but there will be lots more items posted soon. Coming attractions include:

Custom hanging letters so that you can personalize your child's room without breaking the bank. These are usually between $10 and $16 dollars a letter. Mine will be between $2 and $5 dollars a letter.
Mommy Calling Cards. Even if you aren't working for a company outside the home, it's always handy to have stylin' cards with all of your contact information to pass out to friends and associates. These are especially handy when you meet a fellow mom after school or at the playground. And it shouldn't cost a lot! I will offer a huge variety of styles, and each of them will be available as customizable document. Give me your information, and I'll send you a pdf file so that you can print as many cards as you want whenever you want them.
A variety of designs for cards and paper crafts that will all be available in pdf format so that you can print items as needed. By the end of this week, look for Valentine cards you can print for your kids to pass out at school.
Fabric flowers made from modern fabrics. These will be available as hair clips and pins so you can add them to any outfit or upgrade your old handbags.
Fabric scripture covers. You may have noticed that the compact quad is no longer sold with a snap closure. My original design takes care of that without bother of zippers and a separate case completely.

Thanks for visiting my store and have marvelous day!

Tagged--5 things

2009-02-03T22:10:00.003-05:00

So, apparently January wasn't my month for blogging. It was my month for learning couponing and Sneaky Chefing, and starting an Etsy store, but we'll get to those another time. SumGreater tagged me, and that seems like a good way to get back into blogging. So, here goes:

5 things I was doing 10 years ago... was that really 1999?

~working at a blender factory with SumGreater (only 5 stitches from the whole summer, and picked up my first quasi-boyfriend)

~met my husband (I admired his smile and eyes right off, though we wouldn't start dating for another 2 years)

~contemplating changing my major from art (I did that through most of my college experience, but I never did change my major)

~was told by a local Salt Lake City girl that I "didn't seem quite like [I had] a star on my belly" -- the beginning of the 'plain bellied' experience

~dying my hair... probably... I dyed my hair a lot in college

5 things on my to do list today (and I even actually did all 5 of these things... if only my list were that short!

~call the water company

~pick up recycling bins

~dig for coupons in recycling bin

~get new blinds and shower head

~update my 'check' register

5 snacks that I Love

~chocolate chip pretzels

~cheetos

~caramel popcorn

~hot chocolate (even better with buttery toast!)

~bread, bread, and more fresh bread

5 things I would do if I were a billionaire

~pay off debts... mine, yours, everyones

~upgrade lifestyle: clothing, home, transportation (dare to dream: a 2 car family!!!) especially let my hottieface, Turtar, get his dream home theatre set up with millions of channels and TiVo, and do more for Her Nibs and The Boy--outings, museums, lessons, private schools, teams, parties, projects, play rooms, everything!

~get a regular babysitter--really a mother's helper--and a regular housekeeper to help me

~donate to personally significant charities: Down Syndrome groups, NORD (am I spelling it right?), which helped Mermaid with her medicines, March of Dimes, in honor of Geneva, PBS, because I watch it all the time

~travel more and eat out more (cruises, trips, gourmet foodie pleasures, etc.)

I'm not going to tag anyone, but I'll try and check up on all your blogs since I've been disconnected lately. Hope you've had a lovely January!

Holiday Photos

2008-12-27T20:04:00.004-05:00

Now that Christmas is behind us, I can post pictures of the gifts I made for my sister, Urban Tangerine, and her family. This is a recycled scratch pad made primarily from the backs of Her Nibs art projects:

These are the blank note cards I made (the titles are part of it... the one in front with a yellow purse that matches the lightening bolt is called "Accessorize Your Storm"):
And for the kids, I made each of their names in cardboard letters covered with pretty papers to hang in their room:

Then there was the Holiday Mustache Party... (check out this link for more pictures) Garish holiday sweaters, facial hair, poetry about facial hair, and an energetic round of white elephant. And just before the Boston Globe article came out. We're so trendy!

Her Nibs made a gingerbread (really graham cracker... shhh... don't tell!) house at play group:

And have you seen how beautiful my children are?!

Omelette de Fromage

2008-12-16T11:03:00.002-05:00

Turtar fixed Her Nibs a cheese omelet for dinner the other day.

Her Nibs: "Excuse me." giggle. "I just burped. A piece of egg came up when I burped."

Me: "Oooh. I bet that felt weird."

Her Nibs: "It didn't feel weird. It felt amazing!"

Out, Demons!

2008-12-15T22:03:00.007-05:00

I'm getting a head start on my New Year's resolutions. I've decided that the one change that will bless me and my family the most is for me to improve my self-esteem and confidence. I will be a happier, more affectionate wife, a better example to my children, a more enjoyable, less-needy friend, and a less frazzled, more joyful individual. Losing 20 or even 80 pounds wouldn't do those things. (Don't get me wrong, I'm not against losing weight, too, but I certainly can't justify it as my top priority. I don't think it's my greatest flaw.) So, I'm exorcising my insecurities.

And I'm asking all the wonderful women I know to share their secrets with me. I'd love and appreciate hearing from everyone, but I'll just tag a few of you: Suanne, Amanda, Urban Tangerine, Contigo, Becca, Wonder Woman, and SumGreater. How to you manage your insecurities? What helps you remember your worth? And also name at least one (but hopefully four or five!) thing you love about yourself. And then tag some of the women you admire.

Here are a few notes I've taken so far on exorcising my insecurities (it's okay if you repeat some of these ideas, if these are things that help you, too) :

Visit with my Maker ... like in "You Are Special" ... so that I am more focused on pleasing Heavenly Father than my fellow man. Study, Pray, and exercising Faith are the steps to gaining knowledge. I need to apply those same steps in gaining a knowledge of my worth. I want to study women in the scriptures, but also characteristics I'm seeking, specifically those mentioned for women in the Proclamation on the Family.
Don't talk about my insecurities. I'm not planning to suppress them, but talking about them adds attention to them, makes me feel worse, and makes others uncomfortable.
Become more self-aware. Acknowledging my own weaknesses allows me to address them. My friend that told me about this one gave this example. She felt insecure intellectually. She felt she was missing important general knowledge that most people had. So, she went back to school.
Alone time. This is tricky. Not alone time in the Oprah "you have to take care of you" selfish sense. Alone time in the sense that I need separate myself from my family enough to remember that I am separate from them. I am not just a mother and a wife. I am a person in and of myself. I don't even think this time needs to be 'alone', really. I think that I got this same sense sometimes when I was working a part-time job outside of the home.
I'm also trying to follow the Fly Ladies. My first baby step was really just to receive their emails for about eight months. Now I'm working on applying their routines, especially getting dressed (including make-up and hair) when I wake up. Feeling presentable definitely makes me less self-conscious. Also, one of the things that tends to bring me down the most is not feeling 'on top' of things, in terms of paperwork, cleaning, cooking, being involved, stimulating and teaching my children, supporting my husband, etc. So the Fly Ladies baby steps to stay on top of things (like laundry and dishes) helps me feel better, too.

And what I love about Me...

I love my skin. Sometimes it isn't flawless, but very often it is, even when I take very poor care of it. My skin rocks!
I love my artistic abilities. I've got some real talent with clay, though it hasn't been fully developed, and with graphic design as well. I do enjoy doing artsy, crafty stuff like making cards, sewing things, designing Relief Society posters. The things I make generally come out pretty well, too. I'm getting pretty dang good at cutting hair, too.
I love my sense of humor. I really like making people laugh, and I often do.
I love my lips. (I sound like Larry of Veggie Tales fame.) They are fairly full, and naturally rosy to the point that I've never adopted the habit of wearing lipstick. Lucky me!

Blue Collar Delicacy

2008-12-15T01:44:00.002-05:00

Sweetened condensed milk is quite possibly the most delicious ingredient ever canned.

Self-promoting Criticism

2008-12-10T12:08:00.003-05:00

Lots of the ladies at Her Nibs school show up in exercise clothes. I've always been impressed by this. It means, I've assumed, that they're on their way to a serious workout while their kids are in school. That's awesome. I wish I were working out. I don't think I've actually exercised since I ran a 10K in Moab, UT one year ago. (Well, I did go on a walk with my sisters over Thanksgiving...)

But the other day I started wonder if I've been too generous with them. Maybe these other women aren't actually working out. Maybe they just haven't bothered to put on real clothes. At least I'm out there in real clothes, right? I mean most of the days, anyway...

Being Crazy

2008-12-03T10:39:00.005-05:00

Her Nibs had just had a bath and I was applying lotion. I gave her a portion to apply also, but mentioned I wouldn't be giving her very much since she only ever puts it on her belly. She agreed. "Yeah. My belly is my favorite part of my body."

She also added, "Being crazy is my favorite part of life."

My left breast gets stressed. After non-positive doctors appointments, I develop mastitis. Seriously. It's happened three times.

Hot water is my new addiction. When I had mastitis the first time, I got really bad shivers. We were out of hot chocolate, so I started chugging steaming water to warm myself up. Now--I love it! Don't Mess With Texas says it puts me on par with her cat, and Turtar thinks I'm insane. But guess what? SumGreater likes it too! We're like sisters or something! :p

Clarification

2008-11-09T17:02:00.002-05:00

I just wanted to mention that LL is dressed as Luke Skywalker in the picture below (with the green background, not in the bathroom sink). Her Nibs took the variety show approach to Halloween this year: Snow White for playgroup, leopard cat for the church party, pirate for the school parade and a fairy for the big night itself (though the wings didn't make it back on after the pre-trick-or-treating pit stop, so she was a wingless fairy). I wore a headband that included black hair and a witch's hat, and Turtar wore regular clothes, but I painted his face to look like a zombie. Good times were had by all.

Pictures

2008-11-04T20:30:00.005-05:00

This ticks me off.

2008-11-01T15:23:00.002-04:00

We're Home!

2008-10-18T11:06:00.006-04:00

Details about our return here...

Cop-out Post

2008-10-14T16:37:00.003-04:00

I'm really worn out. I think if I post right now, it will all be whining. Nothing but 'woe is me'. Instead, I'll refer you to Turtar's blog (he posted pictures of our new baby boy!!!), and my other blog, where I just posted extensively on what's going on right now, which is lots, actually.

I do want to add some thank-yous. Thank you so, so very much to my sweet Mother In Law who came down last Wednesday and has been caring very diligently for Her Nibs, as well as looking after me. She is an angel. Thank you to the nurse who brought me a gatorade unsolicited and offered me a frozen dinner. She could see I was on the point of collapse. That sustenance went very far to calm my nerves. (This is when Lizard Loaf was the newly admitted patient, not when I was the one everyone was being paid to look after.) I want to give props to Her Nibs for being a loving big sister, and taking everything in stride, especially having her mother around so little the last few days. She is wonderful. And I want to thank my husband, Turtar. He is remarkably attentive. He has been caring for me, for Lizard Loaf, and for Her Nibs with great diligence, which has been especially difficult when we are all spread out between home and the hospital. I'm wishing I'd claimed 'My Hero' as his codename (he chose his own name). I love you so much, Turtar.

Countdown Discipline

2008-10-06T07:47:00.011-04:00

According to my doctor's calendar, I'm 39 weeks tomorrow (I thought that wasn't until Friday...). So I've decided I really need to have the house ready. After this post, no more blogging until I'm really, really ready. Besides, the landlords didn't have the carpets cleaned before we moved in (irritating!), so I have to have everything as out of the way as possible this afternoon when they finally come. At least they're coming before the baby...

We went to the local Buddy Walk this weekend. It's like a big community carnival (cotton candy, face painting, balloon animals, jump castles, hot dogs), except all the booths close for an hour in the middle so everyone can do a one mile walk around the neighborhood. As we were walking, we passed some traffic that was backed up for at least a block waiting for the people in the walk to pass. Turtar said "Are you aware of Down syndrome now?" He cracks me up. After the walk, and waiting extensively in line for cotton candy while Her Nibs and Turtar waited for face painting, I worried that Lizard Loaf might not be okay. (I was really warn out.) So, I downed a bottle of water and poked and pushed my belly until Lizard Loaf convinced me he was still alive and well.

Her Nibs also had another birthday party. This time, we did homemade tub crayons and foaming bubble bath.

My sister, Urban Tangerine, is running a marathon next weekend, so everyone wish her luck! Go U.T.! You completely ROCK!

Handbag Planet

2008-10-01T20:41:00.003-04:00

This is a plug for a new online purse store that looks awesome. Handbag Planet goes online on October 15th, and until then, they are giving away a free handbag every hour for 24 hours as they count down to their launch. Just click here to register for the contest yourself. (I really want the dark blue one!)

Oh, and this clip, too.

2008-09-30T14:36:00.002-04:00

I was looking for this clip. Wolf Blitzer compares the SNL sketch of Sarah Palin's interview with Katie Couric to the actual interview. Take a look at this.

These clips speak for themselves.

2008-09-29T20:43:00.002-04:00

1st Presidential Debate: Warning! Wicked Long Post.

2008-09-28T15:22:00.007-04:00

Debates are interesting. They are about the issues, but they are also very much about presentation, and even strategy.

McCain had a clear plan to belittle Obama’s understanding of foreign affairs and imply naiveté. His script read “What Senator Obama doesn’t seem to understand...” One news agency counted this phrase 7 times during the debate. He threw it in as much as possible, but it didn’t always feel like it was being used the right way.

For example, take the issue of meeting with leaders of rogue nations (Iran, North Korea, Venezuela, and sometimes Cuba). McCain (once again) aligns himself with Bush foreign policy by saying we should give these countries the silent treatment until they meet certain preconditions. Obama takes the stance that problems aren’t resolved by refusing to talk to people.

McCain whips out “What Senator Obama doesn’t seem to understand...” and goes off about how it would be unsafe and reckless to sit down with these people, how it would legitimize these dangerous dictators.

Obama responds by explaining the difference between preparation and preconditions. No one is talking about having Mahmoud Ahmadinejad over to the White House for tea, he says. We would prepare; we would use our ambassadors; we wouldn’t be reckless. Diplomacy builds in layers, etc.

John McCain’s response? Well, it wasn’t even clear he was listening to the debate, except when he was speaking. He followed his script again “What Senator Obama doesn’t seem to understand...”, and made some quip about how the talks would go if Obama and Ahmadinejad sat down face to face, ignoring that Obama said renewing relations and opening dialogue wouldn’t mean sitting down face to face.

McCain had one really good line about snatching defeat from the jaws of victory, but overall, I’d didn’t buy his strategy. Obama doesn’t come across as naive to me. Like the economy, health care and education, Obama discusses the issues of foreign policy with greater competence than McCain (possibly because he presents himself with greater competence overall).

McCain makes dramatic decisions (like choosing Palin for VP or suspending his campaign). He’s operating under the false assumption this shows leadership, and underscores he’s a maverick. But most issues are complex and require subtlety. When asked how the current financial crisis would affect their plans for the country if each were president, both agreed that spending needed to be put in check. Evaluate the budget and cut the fat. Obama said he would have to scale back some of his plans. Not everything can be done at once and some things would be delayed. Then he outlined his priorities for certain problems that just can’t wait any longer for solutions. McCain laughed at Obama, saying that wouldn’t be nearly enough. McCain proclaimed he would freeze spending on pretty much everything but veteran’s benefits. (His announcement came across to me, at least, like he'd thought of it on the spot. Also, it’s part of another recurring strategy to make sure no one ever forgets he’s a war hero.) Then Obama called McCain out, saying he was using a hatchet where we need to use a scalpel. I agree with Obama.

The Democrat’s strategy was also very clear, although Obama was allowed to ad-lib a little bit more: McCain is a part of the problem. All of his experience was obtained by getting us into our current predicament. I disagreed with those decision back then, but things went his way. He has used poor judgment. I am someone with good judgement.

I’m inclined to agree with his premise: experience isn’t a strength when it involves so much failure. I also happen to agree with his policies, which kind of surprised me. I started supporting Obama a while back. At the time, I thought ‘I disagree with Obama on a lot of issues, but he is person of integrity with a vision of service and unity that will strengthen our country’. As I listened to the debate, I found I agreed with him about Pakistan (not much of an ally if they are a sanctuary for our enemies). I agreed with him about Iraq and Afghanistan. I agreed with him about rogue nations. I agreed with him about the economy. Obama’s “I have a bracelet, too” response wasn’t very graceful, but I loved when Obama zinged McCain about the president of Spain.

Over all, I like Obama as a speaker. He did a better job speaking to the camera, and also talking directly to McCain on occasion. Obama also called Senator McCain ‘John’ throughout the debate, while McCain always called him ‘Senator Obama’. The familiar term seemed to show confidence, too. I don’t like the gravelly drags Obama has in his voice when he is hesitating over his words slightly, but even more than that, I hate McCain’s hand gestures. He is very awkward physically. With his hands, he usually has all his fingers spread apart and uses very large movements. Honestly, it reminds me of someone with mental delays.

GOP Bloopers: It was a little embarrassing for McCain that he flubbed ‘Ahmadinejad’ once, and seemed unaware that one of his own advisors, the well-respected Henry Kissinger, supports Obama’s position on rogue nations. Sarah Palin didn’t seem to know Kissinger’s position, either, when she spoke with Katie Couric. After the debate, Katie Couric mentioned she had called Kissinger after her interview with Palin, and that Kissinger had confirmed his viewpoint: Don’t wait for preconditions to be met before opening relations with rogue nations. Palin also accidentally agreed with Obama in Philadelphia when she said we should enter Pakistan to go after our enemies. McCain had to retract her statement the next day. He may be correcting and retracting a lot more after the VP debate this Thursday. Should be fun! :D

Follow Me!!!

2008-09-26T13:35:00.005-04:00

I just added the following feature to my blog (see gadget to the right). It looks really sad right now because I don't have any followers. Chances are good that if you're reading my blog right now, I read your blog, too, and I've already added myself as a follower to your blog. Please follow my blog so I can look cool by having your profile picture on my blog. People may even think you're cool for following my blog.

My name is Plainbellied and I approve this message.

Baby dolls

2008-09-26T13:21:00.006-04:00

The dolls are done.

Her Nibs chose the pink one and thought the body was a little too long. I agree, but I don't know that the solution looks better. I shortened the pink one for Her Nibs so it has more 'baby' proportions. The other one is for lucky cousin Mermaid. (Shhhh! It's for Christmas. Don't tell!)

Bums included (my own addition to the pattern).

Mermaid's doll has a dress. I like the dress. A dress would cover the awkward seam line from shortening the doll's body. Her Nibs didn't want one.

Paper Girls

2008-09-24T16:05:00.003-04:00

Her Nibs and I both love art and crafting. She goes at it more often than I do lately, especially with paper crafts, but we did a project together today. We used a pattern for fabric dolls (by Emily Martin of Etsy.com fame), but substituted some pretty papers.

With three months until Christmas, and less than one month to a baby, I've got to start planning (and sewing) now! (Homemade Christmas presents rock, especially if you can make them for less than store-bought.) At least one niece will probably get a homemade baby-doll based on this pattern. Her Nibs saw me sketching out some adjustments to the pattern to make it more of a baby-doll, and wanted to make one herself. She did almost all of her own cutting (except the hair--she was exhausted by the time we got to the hair), and I love her face, too. You're fabulous, girl!!!

Pretty Present

2008-09-24T09:45:00.010-04:00

Her Nibs is really out and about now that she's in school. Between school friends and church friends, she's already had three birthday party invitations for successive weeks. At this rate, even $5.00 presents will break the bank! So, I decided it was time to go for home-made. I made this simple girls' purse last night based loosely on one I saw on this crafty blog a while back. I'm not speedy, so it took me a few hours, but it was free! Too bad the next party is for a boy... Maybe he could use an action figure carrying case? Just kidding.

Terror on the Rise

2008-09-23T10:40:00.005-04:00

After three miscarriages, I certainly have a testimony of suffering, and somehow I doubt I've met my quota for this life. I'm terrified that Lizard Loaf will be still-born. Pray for us!

42 Days: Health Care

2008-09-23T09:12:00.004-04:00

Forgive me if my understanding is overly simplistic, but it seems to me that those with health insurance are paying high prices for often inadequate coverage because there are so many people without insurance at all. Inevitably, these people need some kind of health care treatment--usually just big stuff... they don't go in for the routine, and preventative care because, well, they have no insurance!--and the hospitals must treat them, even though they can't pay for their treatment. Of course I think the hospitals are doing the right thing, but someone has to pay the bills. As it turns out, we pay for it. 'We' meaning everyone who does pay for medical treatment, with or without insurance. The prices for everything we need goes up to cover the cost of treatment for those who don't pay. And it's all only going to get worse, especially in this economy where more people are unemployed (no insurance from an employer, no money to pay for private insurance, no money to pay for out-of-pocket medical bills).

I am not in favor of socialized medicine. Capitalism is very often the basis for innovation. I worry that socializing health care in our country will negatively affect medical advancements. Lots of countries have socialized medicine; it is more effective in some than others. But even in the countries where it is extremely effective and the care is top-notch, they are benefiting from the research done by our capitalist, privatized medical system. Even if we could guarantee that the government organized socialized medicine here the way it is in Finland (as opposed to, say, Spain), what would happen down the road if innovation lapsed and there was no America for us to lean on for medical advancements?

That said, I think McCain's idea about giving every family $5,000 to cover health care is laughable. Even if he could guarantee the money was spent on health care, it's not enough to get private insurance for most families. It's not enough to cover the medical bills for an ongoing illness or a serious medical emergency. It's not enough to turn the tide of medical costs or insurance prices and coverage.

It is consistent, though. McCain's plans are regularly limited by short-term thinking: band-aids to lure voters. It's not enough to say, as he does in so many instances, "I'm in favor of solutions. Elect me, and I will fix it." An extra $5,000 with your tax return doesn't sound bad to anyone. It may help with your most recent hospital stay, but it won't support a collapsing system. Government money should be put towards long-term solutions.

So, while I'm against socialized medicine (I liked Mitt Romney's plan for health care best), we need long-term solutions immediately. The Urban Institute/Brookings Institution Tax Policy Center (TPC) performed an evaluation of each of the candidates health care plans for cost and coverage outcomes this past May. The headline for it reads "Obama health plan outperforms McCain plan in coverage and efficiency." It's a brief and straight-forward report. To pique your interest, here are the "punch lines of the TPC analysis":

Efficiency. Over the 10-year period analyzed by the TPC, Senator Obama's plan provides far greater "bang-for-the-buck," spending far less per capita for its coverage of the uninsured population.

Cost. The costs of the plans over the 10-year period are in the same ballpark: the Obama plan costs roughly $1.6 trillion, while the McCain plan costs $1.3 trillion (the Obama plan spends roughly 20% more than McCain’s).

Coverage. The Obama plan makes a much bigger dent in covering the uninsured population. On average over the 10-year period, the Obama plan covers over 47% of the forecasted uninsured population, while the McCain plan covers less than 5%.

Also, I feel obliged to mention I did find where McCain discusses his position on abortion on his website.

I'll take all the help I can get.

2008-09-19T13:25:00.005-04:00

Her Nibs loves to say prayers. She has a few stock items she always prays for (please bless my baby brother to be healthy, please bless uncle and aunt so and so to have more babies), but usually she makes the prayer appropriate for the occasion, and infuses her conversations with the Lord with her real, personal concerns and desires (please let me change my name to La La Rose, please help me to catch a butterfly someday).

Recently, I've taken over as primary cook at our house. I had been feeling pretty good about my accomplishments in this capacity. Then, a few days ago, I noticed a change in meal-time prayers:

"And please bless the food to be yummy."

Yes, Lord. Please do!

Eyes On Obama

2008-09-19T00:24:00.003-04:00

I just came across this blog post, "My Conversation with a McCain Supporter" from a blog called Eyes On Obama. He talks about the baffling experience of asking a McCain supporter why he supports McCain. It's baffling because the supporter actually disagrees with most of McCain's politics. He doesn't know basic facts about Palin, either. It mirrors my own experience to a certain extent and makes me wonder what is the real foundation of peoples decision in this election... I hope our national election reflects more than the importance of 'first impressions', or even 'gut-reactions' and 'general vibes' about people.

Freaky Leg Cramps 2

2008-09-18T17:26:00.004-04:00

I asked the doc about my freaky leg cramps. She said they were totally normal. Apparently, doctors don't really have any idea why pregnant women get cramps in their legs. Possibly it has something to do with potassium or magnesium levels? Try eating bananas.

Freaky Leg Cramps

2008-09-17T11:29:00.002-04:00

One month left. In my pregnancy, not the election. This week I've been getting freaky leg cramps. At night, I put my feet up to reduce the swelling to my sad, fat feet (I never had skinny ankles to begin with--this adds insult to injury). I roll my ankles a little to try and loosen things up. No one told me to do this. I don't know why I think it will do any good. But as I'm doing this, I can feel my leg trying to freeze up as I flex to roll my ankle. So, mostly I just do it briefly and occasionally. Two nights ago, I wasn't brief enough. I got a wicked cramp in my calf. My leg locked from the knee down, with my toes pointed like a frozen ballerina (though without the grace). I couldn't turn my ankle at all. Turtar couldn't force my ankle to bend. It was only for a minute, then Turtar thought to have me stand up. Finally, my leg relaxed. The ache from that cramping lasted a full day. Last night, I was already asleep and not knowingly doing anything with my ankles when my other leg threatened the same thing. I walked around for five minutes and then got back to sleep. I really don't want this pregnancy to paralyze any part of me, for any amount of time. That was freaky.

Abortion

2008-09-17T00:41:00.005-04:00

I'm Pro-Life. I'm extremely Pro-Life, in fact. I'm disgusted that 90% of babies diagnosed with Down syndrome prenatally are aborted. I think it should be illegal to abort a child because it has DS (pregnancies that were planned and desired until this diagnosis). I think it should be illegal to abort a child except in cases of rape, incest, or danger to the mother's health. And I don't think 'mental health' really counts in that category. Pregnancy causes a lot of emotional craziness, but stress from the pregnancy itself isn't a justifiable reason to abort a baby. In most cases, women have already made choices that led to a pregnancy, wanted or not. Birth control is extremely reliable these days. Spoiler alert! Sex without birth control risks pregnancy. (I'm for teaching abstinence in schools, but also the birds and the bees and how to manage them.) People who toy with their reproductive powers don't have my sympathy. They were not forced into pregnancy, and they are not being forced into parenthood. I'm a huge fan of adoption, though. See? I told you I was extreme.

In 2004, Turtar and I (by the way--you should totally check out his blog!) voted for Bush because we are Pro-Life. I don't think a president can do much of anything about Roe v. Wade, but Bush did get to choose a couple of supreme court justices who could have something to do with it, if a case comes before them. We got our justices, perhaps at the cost of the economic stability of our entire country and a massive war against an enemy that never attacked us. (I was always against the war. Turtar will bare me out on that.) Was it worth it? I don't know. We have to move forward from where we are now.

In the past, reproductive rights was my issue. How could I vote for someone who agreed with Roe v. Wade? Honestly, it didn't matter much to me what they thought on anything else, because I couldn't get past that one issue. While it would be nice if the leader of the free world valued prenatal life the way I do, I don't think that one opinion would make a very significant impact on our country. I believe the Pro-Choice camp is also full of moral, upright individuals. And in the case of this election, I think Obama has greater moral integrity than McCain, even if Obama supports Roe v. Wade. Some people can't imagine voting for someone who isn't Pro-Life. I can understand that perspective because I've held it before. Right now, I can't imagine voting for someone without moral integrity. I'm starting to wonder if McCain has any at all. I know that the nation is split right down the middle between McCain and Obama, and plenty of people don't think Obama has moral integrity either, but I feel he does.

Moral integrity is my issue in this election, I guess you could say, though I'm not a one-issue girl anymore. There are 48 days to go. That should be enough time air a few more.

49 Days ~ Perspective...

2008-09-16T11:24:00.006-04:00

...you've got to look for it.

Reviews are all the rage in online shopping. You can see what other people thought about a product before you decide if you want to buy it. Without the internet, when would we ever have been connected with people who had tried the same products we were considering? It's amazing. Sometimes, a product doesn't have any reviews. Sometimes it has too many reviews to even consider reading them all. I usually start with the most recent reviews, and then the best reviews and the worst reviews. I want to know why some people loved it, and I want to know why some people hated it.

I do the same thing with politics, and I think you should, too. I read a lot of NY Times articles (often pointed out by Turtar), but also CNN. I watch MSNBC (very liberal), and Fox News (extremely conservative). I also watch CNN and local news. I watched 20/20 with Charlie Gibson. I watch Keith Olbermann and Bill O'Reilly. I also read The Onion and watch The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and The Colbert Report (finding new and better ways to laugh at politicians and ourselves).

Certainly, in this presidential election, there is no shortage of perspective. I like to hear what both sides say about themselves and each other. I can see how they argue for their position and decide who makes more sense to me. But I'm worried that too many people are only getting one side. I heard one opinion that baffled me--a person who still thinks Obama is a racist and a socialist. Both smears have been raised by right-wing media, and both have been dealt with ages ago. It's probably convenience--people have probably liked a lot of what a particular radio host has said in the past and continue listen to him or her for political coverage as well. But that's not good enough. This election is too important. We cannot treat it casually. We need to forge our own informed opinions. If you need help getting started, check out PolitiFact.com and FactCheck.org to separate fact from fiction.

Most importantly, we must look at what the candidates are saying about themselves. I grew up as a minority mormon. By that, I mean I didn't grow up in a predominantly mormon community. There weren't usually very many of us, and other people often got their understanding of mormonism from their own pastors, who weren't predisposed to put us in a good light (or even to tell the truth). I had one person insist that I wasn't allowed to wear make-up because I was mormon. Another asked my sister what she was reading on a bus trip once. When my sister tried to show her The Book of Mormon, she jumped back like it would physically burn her. Both of these ideas were and are ridiculous. If these people had asked a mormon about mormonism, we could have set things straight and eliminated a lot of fear and confusion. See what John McCain says he will do about the issues that matter to you. Look at Barack Obama's plan for our country.

Personally, I've found Obama is more focused on the issues than McCain, and that trend is evident on these websites, too. Obama's section on the issues is more extensive, more clear-cut, and easy to follow. He proudly states his views and plans on 29 different issues. McCain only covers 18, even leaving out reproductive rights, which is the biggest issue in choosing a candidate for many people. To me, this is further evidence that Obama is more open and honest. Nearly every time I've heard him speak, he invites debate on the issues rather than a focus on political distractions and dishonest slanders.

We must seek perspectives from both sides, including the candidates themselves. We must do our own checking and analyzing, and we must think critically.

On Palin

2008-09-15T15:30:00.004-04:00

SumGreater posted on Sarah Palin here. I have talked very little politics with my family... with pretty much anyone but my husband, actually... but I disagree so much with my dear, dear sister, I decided I needed to share my opinion. This post is a response to SumGreater’s post. I love her and I know that she will know I love her even though I disagree with her. And I love her even more for that very reason.

Sarah Palin does not have enough experience to be the Vice President of the United States of America. Some people seem to think this assessment in itself is some kind of liberal smear. SumGreater felt this was coming from feminists. Feminists may see that she is inexperienced, but I don’t think it has anything to do with their political leanings. Personally, I find her unscrupulous character far more disturbing than her inexperience, but we'll get to that later.

Please don’t base your presidential vote on the vice presidential candidate. Senator McCain is running for president, not Sarah Palin. I think adding Palin to his ticket was a catastrophic mistake. I didn’t like him anyway, but this, his first executive decision, emphasizes once again how rash he is. Sarah Palin has not been sufficiently vetted. Even if McCain still would have chosen her (heaven forbid!), it is terrifying how little research he put into his decision. Most people who have been short-listed as possible VP candidates have their entire life history gone over with a fine-toothed comb, including interviews with people who have known them at each stage of life. Not even an FBI background check had been completed on Sarah Palin before she was announced as McCain’s running mate.

It is important to consider whether a candidate shares your values. I’m not sure which values in particular SumGreater is thinking of when she says Palin shares her values. I have read a lot about Palin, and she has a lot of values I don’t share. I don’t think that abortion should be illegal to the point that it is unavailable in cases of rape or incest. Even my very conservative church allows for abortion in the cases of rape, incest or danger to the mother’s health. If I were raped, I don’t think I could go through with an abortion (though I’d probably miscarry anyway), but I think it is cruel and unusual to force someone to continue a pregnancy in that circumstance. Palin is ruled more by popular opinion than by a personal moral standard. She only changed her mind about the ‘bridge to nowhere’ after it became a public embarrassment. She fired the Wasilla city librarian, but re-hired her after a public outcry. She talks about fighting the good old boys of Alaskan government. This article includes details about her whistle blowing, but also reveals her scheming and vengeful nature, and the fact that she did the very same thing as the guy she outed. McCain (and now Palin), make a huge deal about shaking down earmarks, but as mayor of a tiny, tiny town in Alaska, she hired a lobbyist to get millions of dollars in earmarks. As governor, she gladly kept the money for the ‘bridge to nowhere’ even after the project was abandoned. She talks about wanting open politics, about reforms, but her record as governor shows she has been unavailable to the city mayors who have needed to meet with her. She and her staff deliberately conducted business through personal email accounts in the hopes that it wouldn’t be subject to subpoenas. Her record as mayor shows that she cut taxes for businesses (property taxes), and added taxes for the general public (in terms of a sales tax) and took a debt-free city into millions of dollars of debt for a money-pit ice rink. I don't share any of those values. She defended this last point in her interview with Charlie Gibson, saying that the citizens voted for the ice rink. To me, that is irresponsible governing and a cop-out. Ballots are short documents, and the ramifications of a vote are very rarely listed on the ballot. I lived in a state that added an amendment to the state constitution which gave pregnant pigs the right to a certain amount of square footage. That was added as a constitutional amendment! What happens is people see “Should pregnant pigs have this much space?” and voters have nothing against it. Why not?, they say. Just because the people of Wasilla thought it sounded nice to have a city sports arena, that doesn’t mean they realized they were agreeing to that level of debt (or to millions of dollars in legal fees, since the rink was built on land with questionable propriety and was in litigation for years). For a personal perspective, check out this letter written by a resident of Wasilla (its origins have been verified by Snopes as true). Palin is slicker than an oil spill.

I haven’t heard much talk suggesting Palin is irresponsible for not choosing to be home with her family. Considering the situation of her family (five kids, one teen pregnancy and an infant with Down syndrome), I wouldn’t make the same choice, but I don’t take issue with her choice. What does bother me is this: When Charlie Gibson asked her if she had any hesitation when McCain invited her to be his VP, she said absolutely not. She may be so confident in herself, and so excited about the opportunity (some might say arrogant and ambitious) that she knew she would do it right away. That’s basically what she said to Charlie. This bothers me because I think a responsible, caring spouse and parent doesn’t make a decision of that scope without consulting with her husband and family. It is a choice that has far-reaching ramifications for the entire family. Is it possible that she did sit down and allow them to give input on the decision? Yes. But she doesn’t say that, and we have to go by what she says. I hardly think it would have made her seem like she was second-guessing herself to say “Charlie, I know this is a big job. I felt excited about it right away and ready for the challenge, but I certainly paused to talk it over with my family before accepting.” I would like to hear about some more situations where either McCain or Palin stopped to consider things before making decisions, but they seem to share this penchant for flash decisions from the gut. (Gut decision making.... sounds familiar... Isn't that sort of a Bush thing, too?)

I do think Palin’s gender is beside the point. The fact that people have praised her appearance is hardly sexist or demeaning. Mitt Romney got plenty of comments on his ‘perfect hair’. McCain is attacked for his age in part because he looks it. And as for ‘homecoming queen’, well, I don’t know if she was actually homecoming queen, but she did win a beauty pageant. She comes by these titles honestly. When Biden was asked about the differences between himself and Palin, he began his comments by saying that she was attractive, but that was a self-deprecating comment, not an attack on Palin. The fact that there isn’t a liberal democratic woman at the center of attention being called ‘good-looking’ has nothing to do with anything. If there was an attractive left-wing politician who had been pulled into the lime light by an astonishing and regrettable political decision, I’m sure the media would mention her appearance, too. It just so happens Senator Clinton doesn’t look like a beauty queen (and doesn’t have a verifiable history of ever being one), so that wasn’t something to mention in coverage of her.

As for the double standard, I don’t really feel there is one. At least not in terms of what is expected of a vice president. If McCain really just wanted a female running mate, there were certainly plenty of women in his party who are more qualified (as several Republicans discuss here when they didn’t realize the mics were still on. Warning: brief cursing).

There does seem to be some sexism in the defense of Palin, though. People are so impressed with her as a mother of a large family, a strong woman (and she is strong!) and what she has accomplished in her short rise to power and fame, they seem willing to overlook her personal character, her political inconsistencies (quite a lot for such a short political career) and even her qualifications. If there has been a sexist double standard, Sarah Palin herself isn’t complaining about it. Or if she is, then she’s a hypocrite, too. Here is footage of Sarah Palin saying the women can’t cry about that sort of thing. They just need to prove themselves even more. (That was when Senator Cliton was the object of public scrutiny.)

I cut it again.

2008-09-15T09:21:00.004-04:00

Political Kick-Off: 50 Days To Go

2008-09-15T00:24:00.001-04:00

Wanna Be

2008-09-14T22:32:00.006-04:00

My sister, Urban Tangerine, told me about this blog: NieNieDialogues. She said that Nie's style reminded her of me. (My sisters are so great that way. SumGreater always thinks people are lucky to be my friend.) Nie is way cooler than me, but I'd like to be cool like her (and I do like her style). I like how Nie is so positive (something Urban Tangerine pointed out and I agree with her).

I've been thinking a lot about my blog lately. I've thought about taking it private so my husband doesn't get mad every time I post a picture. I've thought about starting an anonymous one where I can write about my political opinions with less fear of it coming back to bite me at some point in the future. (No Politics was in my pre-nup, or would have been if I had one, along with never, ever displaying a formerly living animal in our house. But image always matters.) I've thought about just making things up to practice creative writing and story telling. I've thought about trying to turn it into a side business by working to build a following and selling ad space. (Live the dream, right?) I've thought about posting my projects like a craft blot, or sharing great products I've found, like the blogs connected with boutiques do.

In any case, I feel the need to step-up. So Watch Out!

Or just keep reading. That's fine, too.

School Day Shout Out!

2008-08-26T23:43:00.004-04:00

I just wanted to send a shout out to Her Nibs since she went to her first day of nursery school today. How can it be time for this already?! And you did great, even if the paint doesn't come out of your new clothes.

I'll just add that it completely depresses me that she needs such a huge back-pack. She doesn't carry it around at all--just from the car to her room--but she has to have room for a full-size folder where her teachers will put info for me and Turtar (we already got our first Scholastic Book order), and a complete change of clothes. The clothes would have fit in a back-pack that isn't nearly twice the size of her back, but the folder wouldn't. :-\

Tagged

2008-08-20T09:05:00.002-04:00

How To Play This Game of Tag:
Post these rules on your blog. List: 3 joys, 3 fears, 3 goals, 3 current obsessions/collections, 3 facts about yourself. Tag 5 people at the end of your post by leaving their names. Let them know they are tagged by leaving a comment on their blog!

3 Joys:
1. Watching my daughter
2. Being with my husband
3. Feeling baby Lizard Loaf move like a maniac (also sometimes annoying... :D).

3 Fears:
1. Lizard Loaf won't be healthy.
2. I won't be up to the task of caring for a baby with Down syndrome.
3. Something dreadful will happen to my husband and/or daughter.

3 Goals:
1. Learn to play guitar.
2. Run a marathon.
3. Become a professional graphic designer.

3 Obsessions:
1. Straightening crooked picture frames.
2. Food. I had the most amazing bacon-wrapped pork the other night. Okay- the bacon was burnt, but the pork was juicy and came on top of some sort of creamed sweet potato concoction with balsamic-onion jelly on the side. I was a skeptic at first, but it was delicious! I just wish it hadn't been served in such tiny, tiny portions.
3. Email

3 Facts about myself:
1. I cut my own hair.
2. I create our photo albums on iPhoto and aspire to purchase them in hard copy someday.
3. I have never liked my name. I added a middle name when I was 12, but didn't go by it. Now I regret my actual name and the name I bothered to add. At least I'm proud of my married surname.

I tag: Tiff, Wonder Woman, Suanne, Kristi, and Contigo (either or both of you).

Mosiac Me

2008-08-20T08:49:00.002-04:00

1. Plainbellied (actually, that didn't bring anything up, so I searched on 'plain belly')
2. Chimichangas
3. Alexander Patch American High School (I might not have put all of that in...)
4. Green
5. Gerard Butler (actually, I can never even remember his name... I have to look him up in IMDB.)
6. Brazilian Lemonade (for today, at least)
7. Alaskan Cruise
8. Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream
9. Graphic Designer
10. My Family
11. Creative
12. Turtle

She didn’t tag me, but I liked this idea from Alyssa so much, I decided to give it a try. Here is how you can play too:

a. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search
b. Using only the first page, pick an image.
c. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into fd's mosaic maker.

The Questions:
1. What is your first name?
2. What is your favorite food?
3. What high school did you go to?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. Who is your celebrity crush?
6. Favorite drink?
7. Dream vacation?
8. Favorite dessert?
9. What you want to be when you grow up?
10. What do you love most in life?
11. One word to describe you.
12. What’s your favorite animal?

And props to all the great photographers: 1. Pork Soup, 2. Smoked Turkey Chimichangas, 3. James Robert Beveridge, 4. Nant Ffrancon and Glyder Fawr, Wales, 5. Lil' Leonidas Mini Munny, 6. Day 64 = Brazilian Lemonade, 7. Alaskan Cruise: Tracy Arm Shoreline Ice, 8. Mint Chocolate Chip Goodness, 9. if you're on fire..., 10. dVan, 11. Damrak - Amsterdam, 12. Turtle

He knows when I'm looking

2008-07-24T00:19:00.002-04:00

Lizard Loaf is a mover and a shaker. He is moving all the time, and he's big enough and strong enough now that sometimes I can watch my belly move. When I feel him moving a lot, I look down to watch.... and he stops. When I look up, he starts again. So I look down, and he stops. Lizard Loaf is a sly one. So calm when I'm watching, but up to all sorts of inutero-mischief when my attention is elsewhere.

Haircut

2008-07-19T11:21:00.017-04:00

At first, I had the door open to let in extra light while I took pictures of my new haircut. (SumGreater was getting ready to have hers cut, too, so I was sending her ideas.) In the fourth picture, you'll notice a naked Her Nibs and understand why the door is closed in the last photos.

And, yes. I did cut it myself. I'm always happier when I do. I tried going to someone a month or so ago. (I was worried, being pregnant, that I'd pass out if I had my hands above my head for too long, or I wouldn't have bothered with a 'professional' at all.) She was patient. She kept going shorter and adding layers at my direction. At least it made it easier to cut my own hair when I did get sick of the store-bought cut. But I don't know if it was $16 easier...

For The Record

2008-07-18T18:55:00.004-04:00

I know I haven't been secretive about this, but I just want to say again, for the record, I really don't like being pregnant.

It's uncomfortable, nauseating (though I'm past those 4.5 months), and makes me feel like a complete wimp. I like that Lizard Loaf has such strong kicks and is so active (low muscle-tone my foot!), but sometimes I resent the movements of my autonomous belly. (I discovered that in a warm shower that he calms down completely. It's good to have tricks.) It's uncomfortable and confusing. And the waves of heat and emotion (not necessarily related to each other) completely suck.

I'll admit, I love my maternity clothes. I'm far more stylish now than I was in my non-pregnant clothes. I guess that's a small consolation prize, to look stunning and chic while I suffer. Well, at least to look better while I suffer. Okay, I might not look better either. But I feel cuter. I'll settle for that. At least I feel cuter while I suffer. That's something.

Moments with Her Nibs

2008-07-18T17:49:00.003-04:00

When we were at Target last week, we passed by a man who happened to be wearing an eye patch. Her Nibs said "He's a PiRaTe!" She didn't say this quietly. I laughed, but told her he wasn't actually a pirate. We were leaving the aisle and what appeared to be the rest of his family was entering it. Her Nibs again, "I think he's my favorite pirate."

My mom gave Her Nibs a popsicle when we stopped by the other day (Her Nibs already had it in her hands before I heard about it). I said she couldn't have it because she hadn't had dinner yet. My mother seemed surprised. She didn't argue that point, but told Her Nibs she could take it home with her. She didn't check with me before volunteering this solution. Of course, the popsicle was completely melted before we were even home. I told Her Nibs this is one of the reasons it doesn't work to take popsicles with us: they really don't travel well. It was an all-juice otter pop type, so at least we didn't have a sticky mess. Her Nibs had a solution, of course. She said "But we can freeze it again! Just like Han Solo."

It's a Good thing.

2008-06-26T17:27:00.002-04:00

Insurance is a good thing. Well, good insurance is a good thing. It's responsible and grown-up. It also happens to be a major political issue, but we won't go in to that right now. I just had a procedure that cost over $3,000. Today I got the bill. And what do I have to pay? $36.85. About 1%. This must be what it's like to win the lottery. Insurance is a very good thing.

Natural Beauty

2008-06-21T11:55:00.001-04:00

Her Nibs steps down from her bike to smell (and pick) the flowers.

Best Books: New Baby

2008-06-18T23:07:00.005-04:00

Since Her Nibs will be a big sister soon (4 months to go...), we've been preparing by going through our local library's 'New Baby' reading list. Most of the books are very formulaic: sibling despises new baby and eventually decides the new baby is okay. I don't really mind this because I want Her Nibs to know that it's okay if she is frustrated by the challenges of having a sibling. She doesn't relate to them so far, and says she will always love the baby. Maybe they won't every really apply for her... My favorite in this formula is "What the No Good Baby Is Good For". I think the mother in this book has an inspired response, validating all of her son's complaints about his new baby sister, and even packing the baby's bags.

Some of them don't deal with siblings, just the baby itself. Most of these are sappy, but Her Nibs loves babies and likes to hear about what she did when she was one, so she still enjoys these. She also likes to contrast what she's able to do (as a Big Sister) with what the baby will be able to do (hardly anything!).

We aren't quite done with the reading list yet, but about 60 books in, I do have a favorite: "I Can't Talk Yet, but When I Do..." This book talks about how much the new baby appreciates everything his big sister does for him. What a fabulous way to strengthen a sibling relationship through appreciation (hopefully before the needs of the baby have become grating)!

So Mature

2008-06-17T13:32:00.002-04:00

Our bathroom has a window. During my shower today, I saw a mosquito hovering on the other side of the frosted glass. I had an overwhelming urge to say "You can't get me! Nyaa, nyaa, nyaa, nyaa, nyaa." and possibly stick out my tongue.

The News

2008-06-11T23:48:00.004-04:00

I got the news over the phone from a genetic counselor. It had been 16 days since my amnio. I was starting wonder if they forgot to do anything with all that amniotic fluid they took so painfully from my belly, so I'd been calling throughout the day to see if the results were in. As it turned out, they weren't stalling. The genetic counselor had just called the lab because she felt the results were taking a long time, too. The test had actually only been completed the night before. I was expecting mostly good news, like we'd received for my daughter (codename: Her Nibs). Her Nibs has a translocation, but it is balanced, and she is otherwise healthy. When the genetic counselor said she had the results and that they weren't good, I still didn't completely understand. Then she explained that our boy (current codename: Lizard Loaf) has the translocation and an extra chromosome 21. "He is predicted to have Down Syndrome," she said. I know I wasn't on the phone for very long after that, and I was grateful Her Nibs was distracted by a movie, or the Disney Channel or something. Right then, I only kept crying for a few minutes. I pulled myself together until my husband came home, when I gave him the news. That's when the wording started to seem significant. "Predicted." Could Down Syndrome be a prediction like the weather? Slightly translocated with a chance of Downs? Everyone was gone for the night, so clarifications would have to wait nearly 24 hours. Unfortunately, 'predicted' was just a misguided attempt to soften the blow. Lizard Loaf does have Down Syndrome. This is not a false positive. These are the correct test results, and lots of other terrifying things like pediatric cardiologist and echo-cardiogram.

I was devastated. Thank goodness the Celtics won that night, or it would have really been a bad day.

So, I've been processing this news for nearly a week now. Some days I cry a lot, but mostly I'm on a positive path. But now, how do I tell everyone else? It was only 3 weeks ago that we announced to our world-wide network of friends that I was pregnant and expecting a boy. That part really hasn't changed, but still: things aren't the same. I did multiple Google searches on variations of "announcing your child has down syndrome," trying to unearth some existing etiquette or guideline. Nothing. Maybe we shouldn't say anything at all, and just throw it in with the birth announcement when Lizard Loaf actually arrives? I'd already read too much on BeNotAfriad.net to really do that. When we are rejoicing in the blessing of another very long awaited child, the last thing I want to hear is "I am so, so sorry." But of course, I did have some guidelines. Two of my sisters had already sent similar messages. After working on the email for days now, I finally opted for quoting one of my sisters for a portion of the email. I'm actually still not done composing the message, but I got it far enough along to send it to a few important people (like my mother) who I felt should have the news soon. This is basically what I sent:

We already knew it was a boy; now we know something more. We recently learned that our baby boy, due in October, has Down Syndrome. It is hard news to hear. There is no question that this will be a challenging journey for our family, but we are letting go of generic hopes and embracing new possibilities. As our expectations for our son grow from obscure to intimate, our love for him
deepens.

As we do with every new adventure we face, we're scouring the web to learn all we can. We've discovered some amazing resources, both for us and our son. (Sometimes, the Internet can be so full of love.) There is a huge range of health and ability among people with Down Syndrome, and it will likely be years before we can tell where our son is on that spectrum. As my sister said recently, "It's a relief to know a little more and digest this new information incrementally. ... I wanted you to have a chance to digest the information incrementally, too."

Several years ago, SumGreater, gave birth to a little girl with Down Syndrome. Due to complications from the pregnancy, her daughter passed away after only 9 days. On the same day we learned 'something more' about our son, we found out that one of my other sister's 6-month old daughter may also have a form of Down Syndrome. Would you ever have believed three sisters in one family with children that have Down Syndrome? A circumstance like that deserves its own blog: http://imdownwithdowns.blogspot.com/

I forgot to mention...

2008-06-11T23:41:00.004-04:00

It's a boy!

Craft Happy

2008-06-02T00:06:00.007-04:00

My three sisters have each had baby girls in the last six months. So, I made head bands with interchangeable flower clips for each of them. (And a bunch for Her Nibs, too, of course...) It took two days, but here they are:

16 weeks...

2008-05-07T16:23:00.002-04:00

...and the heart is still beating strong. Her Nibs and I collaborated on a nickname for the new baby (just for the the time being, of course). We call it 'Lizard Loaf Po Po Buns' (just Lizard Loaf for short).

The biggest news about my pregnancy right now is just that I can't stand my doctor anymore. No one in the office seems to listen to me, him least of all. At my appointment on Monday, I told him I thought I'd stopped losing weight (I've lost 13 lbs.), but that I was still feeling really sick. I was taking a Vitamin B/Unisom combo that was mostly effective, but it was starting to dry my skin out too much. (I felt like my whole face had dandruff. *yuck*) I'm using a generic zofran, but I honestly wonder if it's really a placebo.

My doctor's response? "You shouldn't need anything anymore. You shouldn't be feeling sick anymore."

Oh. Okay. I guess I hadn't realized I was past my first trimester. Now that I recognize that, I'll just stop feeling sick to my stomach. No problem. Thanks, Doc. You're top-notch!

I don't even know how many times I have had to talk to them about scheduling my aminio (they still got it wrong--I had to reschedule with the hospital myself), and on Monday I still had to sign a form and tell them again that I won't be needing the quad screen (which is mostly to help people decide if they want an amnio). My amnio is scheduled for about 2 weeks from now, and I'll have to go to this doctor one more time in June. Even though we'll be moving in August, I'm switching to another doctor for the last month or two that we're here.

*sigh* I loved my doctor in Florida. I knew I wouldn't find anyone I liked as much as her. I just didn't realize how hard it would be to find someone who could even come close.

Still Pregnant

2008-04-10T14:05:00.002-04:00

The 12 week appointment confirmed a heartbeat again. So far, so good.

Revelations

2008-04-07T12:30:00.007-04:00

1) Her Nibs did something adorable again. Not surprising, of course, but here you go:

At a church activity last week, all the kids made paper kites, and then someone from church who goes para-sailing showed his para-sail to the kids. While we were outside watching him, Her Nibs was running around on the grass. She found a stick and took it to one of the mothers at whose house she had recently played. She said "This stick is for you in case anyone brings you a marshmallow and fire stuff."

This past weekend was General Conference for church. President Hinckley passed away a few months back, so we sustained President Monson during this conference. Her Nibs has a firm belief in the resurrection and spent some time during the Sunday morning session making a note for President Hinckley for when he comes back to life. She's sure he'll be resurrected soon and go back to being our prophet.

A while back when Her Nibs went insane for a week or so, I told her she was being a destructive child. I guess it made an impact because if I get upset at someone while we're driving, she mutters "destructive" almost under her breathe by way of commiserating. Yesterday, through circumstances I have yet to uncover, Her Nibs ended up pooping in her underwear a little and leaving some on the living room carpet before she made it to the bathroom. She said there was more poop somewhere in the underwear, but I could never locate it or establish exactly where her underwear was. Obviously, I wasn't happy and talked to Her Nibs about how she should handle the situation in the future. As she went off looking for the elusive underpants, she groaned "Oooh, destructive me!"

2) I have a paper route. It is one of the worst jobs that doesn't require a Hazmat suit. I get up between 2:15 and 2:30 AM, drive to the depot to get and bag the papers, drive to my route to throw the papers, then drive home and try to get a little more sleep before Her Nibs wakes up. I deliver over a half-dozen different papers on three different routes. All told, I throw about 250 papers a morning. I get paid the most for the local papers (a little over 11 cents each during the week and nearly 30 cents on Sundays), but for the national papers, it's only about 5 cents a paper. But, if someone complains about my delivery, I get charged $2.00 a complaint. And then there's the people I work with... I'm not used to being treated inferior, but that is the environment in a lot of ways. The supervisor has made a sexist comment. The depot guy (who tries to make sure everyone has they right number of papers) is appalling. He literally tried to grab a stack of papers right out of my hands once while I was in the middle of counting them. Another time, I was returning extra papers to the supply table. Apparently I was putting them in the wrong place. Instead of saying "Let me show you where those go" or just about anything civil, he started in with "NO. NO. NO. NO." He was practically shouting like I was a child. Frankly, it wouldn't have been the appropriate way to correct a child either. Outrageous behavior. And that's just what he's done to me in the two months or so that I've had this job. Another woman, he knocked into a cart for no apparent reason, saying "Get out of my face." Ah well.... sexism is alive and well. When Turtar goes in on the weekends, he is treated much better.

3) I'm pregnant. At least, I have been. I should be 12 weeks along today. A week and a half ago, the baby in my belly had a healthy heartbeat. I have another appointment today, so we'll see if I'm still pregnant. If not, I'll have to have a DNC. I'm trying not to hold my breath. Even if we make it past this appointment, there are no guarantees. My sister's first miscarriage was at 15 weeks (though she was 17 weeks along). *sigh* Wish me luck.

Stars All Around

2008-02-06T15:16:00.000-05:00

At Christmas, my Grandma Pearl, Her Nibs's great grandma, died. Her Nibs isn't quite obsessed with death because of this event, but she's started talking about the resurrection a lot. At the kids table at a party this past weekend, she was telling the other kids how Jesus was resurrected. Sometimes, out of the blue, she just asks (though she knows the answer) "Did your grandma die?"

ME: "Yes. My grandma died, honey."

Her Nibs: "But she will be resurrected. Right?"

ME: "Right. She will be resurrected someday."

HN: "And you will see her again?"

ME: "Yes. I'll see her again."

HN: "And even I will see her again?"

You get the idea. A few weeks ago, she had one of her baby dolls wrapped in a blanket in a large basket, presumably her casket. She said her baby had died. (An unfortunate run-in with a wicked witch and a poison apple, as it turns out. Luckily for us, in one version of Snow White, you just have to get the bit of apple out of her mouth and all is well.)

So, today when we were out driving, it was no surprise that Her Nibs began talking about her great grandma again. She also summarized that Jesus had been resurrected, God and Jesus made it possible for all of us to be resurrected, and when she grows up, she will be a great grandma, die and be resurrected and get a star sticker. Yes, Her Nibs was quite confident: when you get resurrected, you also get a star sticker on your hand. And won't that be nice?

Oh, the Blackness of my Struffoli!

2008-02-03T01:43:00.000-05:00

Grate zest from orange and lemon. Check.

Mix with dry ingredients and pile on counter. Check.

Put eggs and wet ingredients in middle of dry ingredients. Check.

Knead until smooth and let sit for one hour. Check.

Divide into plum-size portions. Role each portion into 1/3 inch strands and cut into 1/3 inch pieces. Check.

Fry tiny dough balls in batches. Drain and set on paper towels temporarily. In large pot, combine honey, water, and sugar. Dissolve sugar and turn heat to high. Bring to boil (watch out-it puffs up pretty high). Check.

Watch for foam to die down and darken slightly in color. Coat fried dough balls in syrup and stack in a pile. Apply brightly colored sprinkles and serve at an Italian themed dinner party to the amazement of all in attendance. um....

By 'die down', do you mean no foaming bubbles at all? And 'darken slightly'... well, that's pretty relative, don't you think? I mean, most people would agree black is slightly darker than brown. And Amber is definitely in the brown family, right?

Crap.

Burn syrup and ruin struffoli. Check.

Pick up gelato on the way to dinner party, arriving 45 minutes late.

Check.

Dang Sweet

2008-02-03T01:30:00.000-05:00

It was a late day for makeup. I'd been up for 10 hours, run 3 errands (unfortunately involving 5 locations) and made dough for authentic Italian struffoli all before I got around to hair and make-up. I was embarrassed to go out like that, but glad to finally shed the zombie image. Her Nibs was primping with me, naturally.

I turned to her: "Look. Just taking care of the dark under my eyes makes such a difference. See how much better I look?"

Her Nibs corrected: "Well . . . I just think you are pretty always."

Let the Mayhem begin!

2008-01-30T18:16:00.000-05:00

"Let the Mayhem begin!"

I'm pretty sure that's what Her Nibs was thinking when she woke up the other day. Of course, I can never be perfectly certain, but I can't be too far off the mark, based on the way she proceeded through the day.

When she was snacking on Cocoa Crunchies in the living room, she didn't just spill them, she sent them out like spies. When I went to get a remote, they were crouched down in the bowl, waiting for me. When I put my shoes on before taking the trash out, they were ready for me. And everywhere I found them, they notified Her Nibs of my movements. Well, the Cocoa Crunchies themselves didn't communicate with her, but whenever I found more of them, I mentioned it. That's the really ingenious part--she got me to notify her of my movements myself.

When I started sorting paper work, she nonchalantly combined the 'to be filed' pile with the 'trash' pile. While she was stewing in time-out, she started shoving papers she smuggled in from the 'trash' pile down the heating vent.

But it was so much more than a few carefully planned and executed missions. Anytime I left the living room, got on the phone, sat down at the computer or turned around, she started jumping on the couch and pulling down the forbidden portions (i.e., back seat cushions).

Sadly, one day was not enough to satisfy her appetite for disaster. She came to the studio with me the next day and helped me make a mold. I would have thought (emphasis on would) that even the most ravenous appetite would be satiated by that sort of disarray, freely splattering plaster and what not. I guess for Her Nibs, it was just a good start. When we were cleaning up, she found a paint brush, dipped it in the washing bucket and swung the water everywhere.

Of course, the day she got plaster all over her hair and body would be the day we were having company for dinner. I wouldn't have it any other way. I put in her the bath and, while Turtar started cooking, headed to the store for a few things. When I got back, Her Nibs had nicks in three or four places and razor burn everywhere. Yep. She decided to shave her legs. She was fine at the time. She didn't cry until we put the lotion on before bed. And maybe sometimes that's what it takes to calm a child down: razor burn.

She was much more her self the next day.

Semester Art Pact

2007-12-30T00:01:00.000-05:00

First, a quote from Her Nibs: "You do everything, and I'll do the rest."

Now, some pictures.

Her Nibs 'Recital'

'Recital' pic 2

You all saw my first piece this semester in greenware (unfired clay). Well, here it is fired and glazed. It was fired in a soda kiln at a much greater reduction than my test tiles. In layman's terms, you could say it didn't come out how I expected... It's much, much darker than I planned.

Remember that second piece that I built? That I spent six weeks on? Well, I also spent about 3-4 hours glazing it. Then I spent an afternoon driving around town to get the proper adhesive for assembling it, and another hour attaching the parts. I guess it wasn't enough. It was sitting on the table while the adhesive was setting (I was working on another project at another table) when it dived onto the floor. Suicidal art. I guess it was just too beautiful for this world.

Here's my latest piece, still in greenware (unfired clay). I think I'll call it "I don't feel like dancing". It may be hard to tell since it's not glazed, but it's wearing a leotard and one ballet slipper. It will hang on the wall. I'm pretty happy with it for now.

I hope you all had blessed holidays, and I wish you all a delicious New Year (we're having friends over New Year's Day for crepes!).

Her Nibs Tidbits

2007-12-03T16:07:00.000-05:00

Here she is in her Snow White dress (that I made) with the Oreo Turkey we made in play group.

I called Her Nibs funny and she asked why. I said "You make me laugh." Her Nibs said "Noooo. When I'm funny I make the trees laugh."

Turtar and Her Nibs were watching some sort of World of Dance performance on PBS. Her Nibs said "Look! Those boys know how to be girls!"

Ten Kay

2007-12-01T18:58:00.000-05:00

It took 5 hours when it should have taken 3, but eventually we made it past the snow storm and all the way to Moab for the 10K. I was on a cot in the hotel room. It wasn't very comfortable, or very warm.

When we were getting ready for the race to start, I recognized a lot more people than I would have expected. There were even some girls from my soccer team, back in high school. I kept looking around for a map of the course. Not finding one, I settled for a map of the bike race that was happening at the same time. The race was more or less a back and forth route: run out half way and come back again mostly the same way. Unfortunately, I got the turn around point wrong and finished in 10 minutes, though without having run most of the race! By then, of course, I couldn't go back and fix anything. I decided to run the distance, even if it wouldn't count for the race any more, but the ground was rough. Most of the time it felt more like I was climbing over roots and ledges on steep hills than running.

At least, that's now my dream went. My roommate said I did yell 'run' at one point in the night. I'm always afraid I'm going to get the course wrong. Fortunately, in the actual race there were cones and volunteers at every turn. The weather predictions were for an 80% chance of rain, but we were dry the whole time. It was warmer than I'd expected, too... much warmer than my 4 mile on Thanksgiving. I was down to a t-shirt before the one mile mark. Once again, I wasn't the first to walk, or the last to finish, and I finished before the girl in the orange (someone in an orange jacket, this time). I ran at about the same rate as last week: 12.37 minute miles. My total time was 1 hour 18 minutes 21 seconds.

I'm dang proud.