Mother's Day

I'm predicting an unusual Mother's Day this year. I'm not exactly enamored with the duties of housekeeping and mothering these days, probably because I'm working two jobs and I'm completely riddled by stress from our current financial state and uncertain future. My two jobs demand less of me mentally and emotionally, but drain me physically and sap my patience, leaving me snippy and short-tempered most of the time. My nerves are raw and Her Nibs and The Boy are more than mild irritants at times. But as everyone knows, we're not allowed to say we don't like being a mother. It's always suppose to be the most fulfilling, even blissful, part of our lives.

Naturally, to combat my struggle, I've turned to books. I've started reading this book called "The Mommy Myth", which has some interesting ideas, but is also very inflammatory. The authors suggest the idea of "intensive mothering" (constant vigilance, bend all of our lives and time to our children's needs, extravagant theme birthday parties and on and on) has been promoted by celeb-moms, tv shows, movies and the media at large to the great detriment of the women's movement and the sanity of women everywhere. According to them, the media has invented a conflict between stay at home moms and working mothers, whereas actual women don't divide themselves (since we often move in and out of these categories during different parts of our lives) or harbor resentment for women making different choices. The authors provide interesting perspectives on the evolution of our cultural concept of motherhood over the past 6 decades, but do not offer a good alternative for what motherhood should look like instead of the intensive mothering that has become 'common sense' in our time.

I believe in the value of family and the role women are called to perform. I believe in the Proclamation on the Family. I believe that motherhood is a divine duty. Sometimes there's an emphasis on the divine. Lately, there's been an emphasis on the duty. I hope that my children won't suffer because their care isn't my primary enjoyment. But even before all of this, even before I was working again, I've worried about how my children are affected by having me in particular as their mother. I hope that I'm not scarring them. I hope I'm preparing them to be emotionally healthy adults who communicate honestly and without any passive aggression. I hope they are secure in who they are and work towards their goals without fear. In fact, I even wrote them a little song. It's incomplete, but in honor of Mother's Day and all the women who sacrifice and persevere out of duty and joy, here it is:

Hush, little baby, don't say a word.

Mama's right here, gonna sing like a bird.

Don't always know what I'm suppose to do,

But I know, I'll always love you.

It just may well be I'm missing some tools, 

My brain's misaligned or I've listened to fools,

Whatever my failings, I hope that you'll see

I've given my all to help you be who you'll be.

I'm doing my best to disinherit you from my troubles,

To fill your life with hope and fun and bubbles,

Encircle you with truth and power,

     strength and confidence and shower

     virtue on you every hour

Raise you to soar.

Hush, little baby, don't say a word.

Mama's right here, gonna sing like a bird.

Don't always know what I'm suppose to do,

But I know, I'll always love you.