[Excerpt from my scripture journal dated 12-2-09]
Matt 5:29-30
Am I "likening" this scripture in the right way? It's meant to refer to sins -- or at least that's how I've always seen it. But I've had this urge lately to clear things out of the way -- especially physical clutter, but also projects. I have too much stuff, as evidenced by the fact that I don't seem able to keep it all in order. But it's so easy to become attached to things and projects. If I have things and projects I love, but they're bringing me down -- or more bogging me down -- then I need to let them go.
Can I pluck out my right eye? Right now, I have many, many projects. I don't know which I'm willing to abandon. But I'm starting a graveyard shift job and something's gotta give. I've got to get my affairs in order.
What can I cut off and pluck out?
My week just went uphill from there. I decided to return borrowed reading materials and forget about couponing, at least for the time being. (Those things were just sitting there, anyway.) I wanted to liberate myself in every way possible. Just that decision was so freeing. A couple of days later, I found a local opportunity to sell the flower hair clips I had intended for Etsy. (After so much work, I couldn't finish up without selling them.) With that project wrapping up, and a new night job baking at Panera Bread, I decided to close my Etsy store. A couple of days later, Urban Tangerine sent me this article: Best New Year's Resolution? A 'Stop Doing' List. That only confirmed what I felt inspired to do last Wednesday. And, it helped me understand why some of my projects, which should have been fun and exciting, felt so much more like burdens and drudgery. Etsy is cool. I like making things. I think I'm pretty good at making things. But Etsy is not for me. It definitely wouldn't make the cut if I did the 20-10 assignment in the article. What would? Absolutely family, family, family. And then graphic design. And I would still want to run a marathon. I would want to make things for my family members and friends. I am most excited about making something when it is going to be a present. It's a way I can give of myself when I can't give financially. And in the 20-10 scenario, I would want to leave more behind than a hefty inheritance. But I would not, at all, want to produce lots of items, market them and ship them to buyers. So, farewell Etsy. I wish you well. It feels good to leave a project behind without feeling like a quitter. It feels great understanding what it is I want and don't want. And, something that is truly unusual for me, it feels beyond awesome [dare I say be-awesome?] to have genuine confidence in my own abilities and direction.
You guys gotta try this.
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